Christmas Miracle

legaljen1969

I need one. We are supposed to have our first "Family Christmas" in years with my brother and his family and my parents. Yes, I complain about my family but Thanksgiving went way better than I thought.
My mother had to take my father to the hospital today. She thought he was having a stroke, very disoriented and talking gibberish. Tests reveal no brain bleed. Found to have severe UTI which they say could be causing his confusion. He will remain in hospital at least overnight or until the infection clears up. I am so worried for him.
Thankfully not cancer related or COVID related, but I know my mom can't wait to get him out of there. She hates germs and she is probably driving the nurses crazy.
Anyhow, just send up some good thoughts. Christmas Eve is 81 years for Dad. Christmas Day is 51 for me. I need another birthday with him. I think he will be okay, but some extra prayers from my warriors here could not hurt, right?

beachbum5817

I am so sorry to hear this. I know of someone who just about every time she has a UTI gets more confused than just her dementia makes her. A round of antibiotics does the trick for her. I sure hope this is what will help your dad get better and that you can have your Christmas get together. I will remember you all in my prayers. Take care.

Dltmoll

Extra prayers never hurt. Sending them, and a hug, your way.

legaljen1969

Thank you all. My mother says he was making much more sense this morning and answering questions. I am sure he is not out of the woods completely, but its encouraging that he is making progress.

He has not exhibited any signs of dementia and has not been diagnosed with such. I think that's part of the reason my mother instantly hit the stroke panic button. I don't blame her.

I will keep everyone posted.

debphill

Prayers for you and your family xo

MarcieB

I am always flummoxed when I hear of these UTI incidents. I just cannot connect HOW a problem with one's urinary tract can interfere with brain activity, but I have seen enough evidence to know it does. And it's pretty dramatic! Just when you are certain your loved one has either had a stroke or a wild turn of dementia, along comes the UTI meds and sorts it all out (!) Legaljen, I am praying your father comes home from the hospital quickly, so your mother will feel more at ease, and also for all of you to have lovely Christmas. An extension of your successful Thanksgiving. Do keep us posted.

Bug

Sending prayers for a complete and speedy recovery, legaljen.

MarcieB, I was thinking the same thing. I know a couple of older people (parents of my friends) who have had these same symptoms and it turned out to be a UTI. So interesting.

legaljen1969

I spoke to him around 6:00 tonight. He had been moved from the "transitional bed unit" to some sort of negative pressure room- sounded like a wind tunnel. Apparently it takes away COVID stuff (don't ask me. It was loud as heck though- sounded like a vacuum cleaner for the whole hospital). Thankfully he was only there for a short time. I got a text from my mother that he had been moved into a quiet room around 7:00. He was to stay and sleep and she was going home. I know she's a little apprehensive about whether they will let her back in the hospital now that he's not under emergency care. Please give positive thoughts they will let her back in. She may not have left because her last text said she "may" go home. I would almost bet she didn't though because she doesn't like for him (or anyone) to be alone. She views hospitals and medicine from a self-defense standpoint. It's like everyone who isn't her or my father is "the enemy."
That was one thing I had warned MY doctors about when I first started my cancer journey and when my surgeon said "I am sure I've seen worse. I am not scared of your mother," I took notice. Though after one visit, she said "I'm still not scared of her, but I see why you warned me."

legaljen1969

OH, and Dad was talking about how he was ready for Christmas and couldn't wait to go to Florida. So I felt encouraged. I was thinking we might be moving the celebration a little closer to their home, but either way we are fine. I am sure Mom doesn't want it at her house because she has turned my room into temporary "storage" after my grandmother's funeral IN 2018. LOL She had to empty my grandmother's room at assisted living and apparently dumped all of the contents into my room. I told her I wanted to come home and she said "No, I need some advance warning, like maybe a month." Okay, but if an emergency arises, I will go in and clear that room and my bed with one swoop. Hehe.

Anyhow, things are looking encouraging. It's a much different Christmas this year. Last year was closing in on my 50th birthday and I was expecting great things after I cleared surgery. Oh what a year it has been. LOL Anyhow, I have good hopes for 2021.

Lynne-I-Am

I too am sorry to learn about your father, but relieved it was not a stroke. My dad suffered from several UTI’s in his later years. In his case , it was discovered he had a fistula connecting his bowel to his bladder. This was thought to have been partially caused by his diverticulitis. There were times during this period when he was confused, especially at night. Thankfully the situation was successfully resolved. Sending healing wishes for your dad , with many more future Christmas birthdays for the both if you.

Lorie

This is worth looking into for the UTI'S

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27424995/

legaljen1969

@Lynne-I-Am- very interesting that you mention the diverticulitis. He had bouts of that for many years. I will have to mention that if it happens again. I am hoping to get more news soon.

legaljen1969

Just got word he may be released today. Mom said the urine culture showed E.coli bacteria which could cause that sort of reaction. Holy moley.

Anyhow, thanks to all of you for good wishes.

andreacha

Glad to hear that your Dad is on the mend and will be going home. At my small rural hospital, I'm known as the "UTI Queen". And a couple of time E-coli appeared in my results. One time I was talking on the phone with my neighbor catching up on all the latest, and she asked if she could call me back in 5 minutes. There was someone at her door. "Sure, I said". As promised, she called back and we continued solving the world's problems on the phone, and there was a knock at MY door. I asked her to hold on a minute while I answered the door - and there was my daughter who lives on the other side of town and never comes, especially at night, without calling me first. She took the phone from my hand and told my neighbor that she was there and thanks for calling her. I was perplexed and asked her what was going on. Or that's what I thought I said. She couldn't understand anything I was saying. My neighbor had called her and told her to come that something was wrong with me. None of my sentences made any sense. It was all gibberish. My daughter agreed and called 911. She thought I had a stroke That was the first time I ever became confused with an UTI. I usually can tell I have one and go to the doctor right away.
But not this time. It's good that your Mom acted quickly. A couple of times they held me for a full week. You must have been thrilled that your Dad was looking forward to getting together again for the Holiday. I'm so happy that Thanksgiving went well, and I pray that your Christmas is everything you wish it to be. Lorie posted an excellent article from the NIH about UTIs. It was highly informative. Thanks for that, Lorie. Loving prayers from GA for your Dad. Keep us updated on his condition.

Teachertina

I’ve seen this UTI issue happen several times with my mother in law. Antibiotics helped stop the confusion quickly, amazing! She’s 88 now and we are all waiting for results from her COVID test yesterday. Well wishes for all in this crazy time!

beachbum5817

Teachertina, I hope that your mother's COVID test is negative. Let us know. legaljen1986, did your dad get home yesterday? For all of your sakes, I hope that he did. Keep us posted.

Terri

My prayers are with you and your family. My Mother is going in for chemo for mets to liver soon. I hope all is well and we all get through this nightmare. My Mom has a permanent UTI, they can't seem to get rid of it. I am so glad your Mother is home. God Bless

LiveWithCancer

I'm sorry I'm so late to this discussion - I keep forgetting to come check in at WhatNext. I hope your dad got to go home and that he's feeling a whole lot better and that you guys will get to have your Christmas get-together! I dread missing getting together with my mom, who at 90 seems to think every day that it will be her last day.

Teachertina

Both of my in-laws tested positive for COVID. She is 88, he’s 89, living with sister in law, she got it and her daughter too. The daughter is clear now and recovered, taking care of the older folks, not very sick at this point, but we are worried. We can’t go visit them at all, just calls. I hope we don’t have a very sad Christmas this year. So many have lost loved ones because of this virus and today the vaccine is rolling on delivery trucks. Too late for many but just in time for many others. Stay safe and well my friends.

legaljen1969

My father was released from the hospital on Thursday. I want to say it was probably mid-afternoon. Both of them say he slept really well once he got home. He seems to be doing okay. He will have an appointment with his vascular doctor and his general practitioner at some point later this week just to make sure everything is fine and he's clear to go to the beach next week. I am confident things will be just fine.

My mother has a friend she has known since high school whose husband was admitted to the hospital the same day with similar symptoms as my father. Her husband has Parkinson's disease. Their first day of treatment and care was quite similar and they followed a similar trajectory until Thursday morning. In the hospital where my father was, their policy, even in these times of COVID, is that if the patient is in an altered state- someone (a family member) can stay at the hospital with the patient. I can assure you that the only way my mother would have left that hospital, if that provision were not in place, would have been in handcuffs being escorted out by security and/or other law enforcement. Thankfully, she was allowed to stay with no issues.

THE REST OF THIS IS ABOUT THE FRIEND- NOT MY FATHER!!!
Her friend lives in another state. When her friend's husband got moved into a room, she was no longer allowed to stay with him at all in the hospital. She left to go home. They were going to transfer her husband to a rehabilitation facility later in the day and she was to be notified when he got transferred- because she could have seen him once he got there. She never got a call that afternoon or early evening. She assumed things were just more backed up that usual until she got a call at 3:00 in the morning that her husband's heart had stopped and he had passed away. I do understand they want to keep patients safe, but this woman and her husband had both tested negative for COVID and they had him in a non-COVID area in the hospital. Still, their policy was that no-one was allowed to stay with the patient. I feel so bad for my mother's friend. It has put a real damper on my mother's joy about my father being released. Of course she is happy he was released, but she has not wanted to tell her friend because she wonders WHY one was okay and the other was not.

These are the questions only God can answer and I have no good answer for her.

Anyhow, my father is okay.

beachbum5817

legaljen1969, I am so glad that your father is home and doing much better. It is sad about your mother's friend. It has to be so hard to have good news and your friend's news is sad. You are so right in that we never know what God's plan is for us. Take care.

legaljen1969

@Andreacha- this site has a lot of Georgians. I am from north Georgia- Gainesville GA originally. JaneA is from GA. I see you are from Ellijay. I don't know why I thought Ellijay was more on the eastern side of the state, but I see you are more west from Gainesville. Clearly I did not excel in state geography, but I know I have passed through Ellijay more than a couple of times on long "leaf looking" trips with my grandmothers and parents growing up.

One of my husband's close friends in the Marine Corps was from Ellijay as I recall- John Kelly. I can't swear that's right, but I think that's where he is from. John would be probably mid to early 50's right now.

legaljen1969

So he's back to the hospital again. Different symptoms this time. He says chest tightness and pain in his front and back. He says it feels like what people say heart attack pain would feel like- but they have run 3 EKG's and nothing shows signs of heart attack. My dad is completely convinced it was a heart attack and can't understand why it's not showing up. He also says he had upset stomach this a.m. and also threw up. He tells me he has been tested for COVID but the results haven't come back yet. He swears its not COVID, but he sounds a little congested and coughed a couple of time and sounded really short of breath. I truly fear it is COVID and I would put money on it that if it is COVID he contracted it the last time he was at the hospital waiting in the hallway in "transitional bedding."
When I talked to him earlier, he was saying they still plan to go to Florida for Christmas if they discharge him. After talking to him tonight, I don't see it happening. I think he may get discharged, but going so far from home does NOT sound like a wise idea. I really think we just need to postpone the Christmas celebrations and do a ZOOM Christmas celebration.
So send up a few more prayers. Definitely for my dad, but a few for my sanity and a sense of peace would not hurt either.
I love you all and thank you for rallying around me.

Lorie

sorry to hear this but now I think you know it's best to stay put for the holidays. Getting him well is top of Santas list. Make sure hes had Covid test.
Can you visit with him in hospital? All the states and areas seem to be different about that procedure.
Plz b good to yourself. We're with you.
Hugs, lorie

MarcieB

Gosh, darn it! I am so sorry to hear this is happening to your father. What kind of plans did you have for Florida? Were you all going to a family member's home, or did you rent a place? I am just wondering what all would be involved in changing your plans? I do think, even if some of you can be together, your dad needs to skip it this year. I'm so sorry, Jen. Prayers for your father AND your mother (it is stressful to be the care-giver on the sidelines).

andreacha

@legaljen1969 - Ellijay is located nearly due North of Atlanta. It takes about an hour and a half to get there if there's not much traffic. I'm located between Jasper and Blueridge. We are at the hilly base of the Appalachian range. Ellijay has become a big tourist area and we are expanding rapidly. I hate the thought of losing that small town feel to it. It truly is beautiful here. I moved here for a particular job back in 2005 and have never regretted it.
I'm so sorry about your Dad. I agree with you that the plans to travel at Christmas be cancelled or at least postponed. Prayers for all of you.

legaljen1969

@Lorie, we are definitely putting everything on hold. He was tested for COVID and the rapid test came back negative- thankfully. Last night was a whirlwind. They finally got my father to a cardiac observation room around 9:30 last night. They would not let my mother stay with him this time. I guess because he was so disoriented the first time, they wrote an "exception" or "variance" into his orders that would allow her to stay. When they took him into the cardiac unit, she was told she had to leave. She was apparently most unhappy about it (not that I blame her) and she wouldn't leave until she spoke to his doctor. The nurses wouldn't yield at all. She said she left so it wouldn't upset my father and she planned to go back this morning. They told her there would be no visiting hours in the morning either. She spoke to his doctor this morning, expecting "to get things sorted out." Well, she found out that because he was lucid, there would be no variance this time and she would not be permitted to see him again until it is time for discharge. She was not happy, but she's accepting it better than I expected.
So add to all of that, as soon as they got my father into the cardiac observation unit- they told him that they thought maybe he had a heart attack after all. His cardiac enzymes were elevated and they wanted to take him for heart catheterization and to put in a stent. He asked if it could wait until the morning to at least give him time to talk to his previous cardiologist and cardiothoracic surgeon. They agreed to monitor him through the night, with the caveat that if he had any more pain or his enzymes went up anymore he would need immediate surgery. Apparently "heart attack" had been part of the discussion all day yesterday but they never said anything about it all day until my father was in the cardiac unit last night. So it did get him a little worked up not to have my mother there to help him get it sorted out.
Morning came and his enzymes were down and they are working with the on call cardiologist to plan an interventional strategy. Apparently my brother has some friends who were able to pull some strings and get some better information. They will monitor my father through the weekend and probably do a stress test on Monday.
@Marcie- my parents had rented a place. My mother said she would be happy to let us use it since it was paid for. She apparently had bought "cancel for any reason" insurance, so I told her to try to get her money back if she could- or maybe they could transfer her deposit to another week sometime in the next few months. I don't know if she made any progress or if she even cares right now (probably not). Anyhow, I told her to at least try to get her money back but we would go down and see my brother if the owner would not refund her money (if she had travel protection insurance, there's no reason not to give it back).
Last weird thing, a case manager/discharge coordinator called me today telling me she had tried to reach my mother on her cell phone and home phone and could not reach her. She asked me if my father had a safe place to go home. I told her that of course he had a safe place to go home and asked if there was a reason they would think otherwise. She said there was not any reason. She just hadn't been able to reach my mother. I asked her to tell me the numbers she had tried to call for my mother and she said "I know I have the right numbers. Just answer my questions." I answered all of her questions - simple things like does he walk unassisted, does he use any breathing machines (CPAP, BiPAP, oxygen), what pharmacy do they use. She said they were just trying to get services lined up in advance so when the time for discharge came, they weren't waiting around all day to coordinate services. It sounded pretty reasonable then. She then circled back and asked if my mother was capable of caring for my father. I told her yes, she was plenty capable. She asked if he might need home health nurses. I told her I didn't know what he "might need" right now, but I felt she was capable of taking care of him basically. She has been handling his care every since he had a quadruple bypass in 2017. She has his medication regimen down to a science. She has support with the home health that my grandmother used if she just needs respite care. Case manager just kept asking me over and over if I was sure my mother was going to be able to care for him. I finally told her that if she had a concern about it, she needed to tell me why she was so concerned because I saw no reason he wouldn't be safe or that my mother would be unable to care for him.
She said his charge nurse told her that my mother seemed really overwhelmed last night and she wasn't being rational about leaving. I told her that my mother believed the "exception" had been written into my father's chart and that she just believed she was supposed to be able to stay, but not to worry about her being stable or rational. I told her I had spoken to my mother and she was just disappointed that the "exception" was not granted, but she was fine. I know my mother is very worried about leaving him alone in the hospital- as are the families of many these days.
I talked to my mother and told her that the case manager had tried to reach me to ask me the discharge questions and that I had told the case manager that my mother could better answer the day to day stuff, but she could call me with any other questions. I told my mother to be sure to follow up with the case manager to let her know she was aware of the call and maybe a further conversation would be good. I didn't tell my mother about the case worker's tone of inquiry, but if I get another call- I will definitely make further inquiry into the situation,.
Thank you all for being my safe place to let this out.

MarcieB

This is all sounding a little ominous. There is no reason in the world for a case worker not to tell you the phone numbers she dialed. It also sounds like she was pretty nosey...I have heard ugly stories about people who will petition for *guardianship* of elderly people if they can prove no one is available who can see to the person's care. Then, if they are granted guardianship, they have control over the person's assets. I am certainly not saying this is what's happening, it's probably an overworked health care person trying to troubleshoot, but I would not have been happy about her tone either.
I think you are making the right choices about Christmas. Maybe you could all shoot for a Valentine season reunion? That's what I am hoping for with my family - that things will be on the mend and we can take some time out to love on each other - what better time than Valentines?

legaljen1969

@MarcieB- I agree. I thought it sounded a bit ominous. If this woman or any caseworker calls me back, I will be recording the conversation. We had a conference call this morning to include my mother, the caseworker, my father's doctor and myself. Everything has been clarified.
Mom did cancel the condo in Florida. Dad is to have a stress test tomorrow and hopefully, if they don't do the stent right now, he will be out by Tuesday.

beachbum5817

legaljen1969, I am so glad that you are finally getting some answers. I am sorry that your Christmas plans had to be cancelled, but I think you are doing the best things. I am praying that your dad has a good stress test today. Take care.

legaljen1969

Quick update. They let him out on Monday night. His cardiac enzymes were normalized and I guess they decided it was not necessary to do the stent after his cardiologist and vascular doctor took a look at everything. They are not quite sure what caused the issue, but they didn't seem to think it would require intervention after all. They wanted him OUT of the hospital and away from any chance of picking up any kind of infection or COVID.
Oddly enough, we have a close friend- age 51 (just a few months older than I am) and he was admitted to the hospital on Sunday night with an almost identical set of circumstances- chest tightness, rapid heartbeat, nausea, vomiting, back pain- lots of stuff indicative of heart attack. His cardiac enzymes were a bit high on admission but not high enough to proclaim a heart attack. Several hours of observation in ER and overnight in cardiac observation- enzymes came down. They ruled out heart attack, thyroid issues and PE. Told him to come back if problems and follow up with cardiology consult. Our friend has not had past heart issues like my father, but he is also almost 30 years younger than my father.
Anyhow, everything presented close to identically. Makes me wonder if its not another manifestation or offshoot of COVID related illness. Crazy.
We were invited to come to my parents hometown and come over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and stay distanced. I really wanted to go but my husband did not think it was a good idea. We have been so cautious with our interactions with people thinking we would be seeing him, and have been tested at least once a week for the past three weeks just to be sure we hadn't accidentally or unknowingly come in contact with someone. It has been a source of tension between us over the last 24 hours or so. Intellectually, I know he is right but I am so depressed right now.
If given the option- after the last two Christmases- last year and this year- I would NEVER celebrate Christmas or have anything to do with it again. I have always loved having a Christmas birthday and my dad's being Christmas Eve. Now I want to separate them from Christmas more than anything. I cannot even express the level of contempt I have for Christmas right now.