Oh No | Problem with doctor

Lyssa
Lyssa Member Posts: 5
edited December 2022 in Breast Cancer
I have been diagnosed with a very aggressive breast cancer. My tumor is not connected to anything, and will travel at will. Breast cancer is not in either side of my family, but other types of cancer is prevalent. So now they want to also remove my ovaries and fallopian tubes. And then keep checking on my pancreas. I have faught very hard to make it this far. Any new surgerys have to be far down the road.
I dont mind saying,I HATE,and FEAR both of my doctors. First my oncologist as she dismissed the horrible side effects that chemo had on me. My chemo was very aggressive and the constant bone pain from nulesta made my life so painful that I spent weeks, days crying and wrenching from the bone pain. I begged my doctor to please help, and she just accused me of not having enough hope or faith...the next visit my pain was caused by my family not giving enough support. Next visit as I was in total tears and limping because of the bone pain she then tells me that I just dont have the correct app. Downloaded on my phone. As GOD is my witness this oncologist choice to dismiss or blame me for these painful side effects has now surfaced as anxiety attacks. I'm not sure I will ever feel the same. Its burned into my soul, brain...I very much FEAR any re-accurance of cancer as I would not make it through chemo again.

Comments

  • PaulineJ
    PaulineJ Member Posts: 205
    edited September 2021
    Sorry you're wasting your time with a lawsuit. you're not going to win. Just the bigger people with names and money win.Sorry for being negative ,but I've been done that road on things.We're considered low class.
  • Teachergirl
    Teachergirl Member Posts: 15
    edited February 2022
    This is just my opinion but when I had a problem with my breast specialist, I changed doctors immediately. You should have peace of mind that you are getting the best care. Your fear may be reduced a bit with a doctor you trust and have a good relationship with. Best wishes and prayers for continued healing.
  • cak61
    cak61 Member Posts: 42
    edited September 2021
    I agree with Teachergirl, if possible you need a new doctor. My first oncologist was so insensitive that I told them when I scheduled my next appointment if they couldn't put me with one of the other doctors that I would not be coming back. I was in tears.
    I also stopped follow ups with my radiology oncologist, because he was rude and abrupt.
    I don't expect them to all be the most sensitive, but I can't tolerate rude.
  • MarcieB
    MarcieB Member Posts: 527
    edited September 2021
    Lyssa, I am so sorry you had to endure a doctor who did not listen to you. I went through chemo with a team - oncologist, PA, and nurse. I related to my PA the best and she went to bat for me it I felt something was amiss. Even the little nurse who took my vitals every week of treatment, seemed to be pulling for me. One time I broke out in tears while she was taking my blood pressure and she personally walked me to my exam room and waited for the doctor with me.

    We are more than our bodies. We absolutely have to have empathy from our doctors. it is essential you feel they are ON YOUR SIDE. I am a person of faith, myself, but a doctor has no right to lecture you on yours. I hope you will look into finding a different one.
  • junie1
    junie1 Member Posts: 30
    edited September 2021
    Lyssa, I'm so,,so sorry you have gone thur all of this. And to have family that doesn't care nor understand what it's all about. I had an Oncologist, that was the best in the field, ,BUT did not have any bedside manners,, so concept of compassion. Her nurse and NP were so kind,, if it hadn't been for them I'd dropped the Onco doctor like a hot potato., My family disliked her from Day 1 !!! after about a year , I did have to tell them, I needed to have a new Onco, It took awhile months, But It did finally happen! I'M so happy I changed,, should have done it sooner. Peace of mind is worth alot,, when going thur cancer,, and Cancer effects everyone differently. I have had the best care since getting anew doctor,, and I feel much better..
    Take abit of time,,get you thoughts in order,, talk to someone about how you feel and what you wanna do,,
    But I do thnink checking out a new doctor is something you really need to look into,
    Good Luck
    God Bless
    june
  • Dltmoll
    Dltmoll Member Posts: 71
    edited September 2021
    Definitely get a second opinion on any follow up surgery. I don't know what options you have to do that but if there is anywhere else you can go please do it. It will give you a look at another doctor as well as a better explanation as to why you need those surgeries.
  • Carool
    Carool Member Posts: 787
    edited September 2021
    I agree with Teachergirl and cak61. You should find a new and much more supportive oncologist. I didn’t need Neulasta, but I’ve heard how it can cause very bad bone pain, and your oncologist should’ve not dismissed your pleas for relief — AND tried to guilt you and blame your family!

    I had an awful radiologist I continued to go to for many years (before she misdiagnosed what turned out to be breast cancer that she’d assured me was “nothing; come back in a year). She was sadistic and lacked empathy. I should’ve trusted my feelings and found another radiologist long before I did.

    As for the recommended hysterectomy, I’d definitely get another opinion, if you can.

  • Carool
    Carool Member Posts: 787
    edited September 2021
    I agree with everyone.You should find a new and much more supportive oncologist. I didn’t need Neulasta, but I’ve heard how it can cause very bad bone pain, and your oncologist should’ve not dismissed your pleas for relief — AND tried to guilt you and blame your family!

    I had an awful radiologist I continued to go to for many years (before she misdiagnosed what turned out to be breast cancer that she’d assured me was “nothing; come back in a year). She was sadistic and lacked empathy. I should’ve trusted my feelings and found another radiologist long before I did.

    As for the recommended hysterectomy, I’d definitely get another opinion, if you can.
  • Carool
    Carool Member Posts: 787
    edited September 2021
    I agree with everyone.You should find a new and much more supportive oncologist. I didn’t need Neulasta, but I’ve heard how it can cause very bad bone pain, and your oncologist should’ve not dismissed your pleas for relief — AND tried to guilt you and blame your family!

    I had an awful radiologist I continued to go to for many years (before she misdiagnosed what turned out to be breast cancer that she’d assured me was “nothing; come back in a year”). She was sadistic and lacked empathy. I should’ve trusted my feelings and found another radiologist long before I did.

    As for the recommended hysterectomy, I’d definitely get another opinion, if you can.
  • Bug
    Bug Member Posts: 393
    edited September 2021
    What a horrible way to be treated. I join everyone else in urging you to find another doctor. I know that's easier said than done, especially when you aren't feeling well. If you can manage it, it seems like it would be well worth it. Hugs to you. Please let us know how you're doing.
  • legaljen1969
    legaljen1969 Member Posts: 763
    edited September 2021
    Lots of healing wishes and thoughts coming your way. I cannot imagine going through this battle with an unfeeling and uncaring "care team." There are other doctors, nurses, et cetera out there. You can find them. My bet is there is someone out there near you that may have some suggestions for you. Surely someone from this group has some knowledge of a place she can go or a doctor that has been good to them.