An excellent article

Carool

This debunks the “be positive” mantra often still given to people diagnosed with a cancer:

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/08/caitlin-flanagan-secret-of-surviving-cancer/619844/?utm_campaign=the-atlantic&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR1lKjpm6tTjpm2j3_uQmW1t2oiAPu8Qij9JA-jTE0GrVLhIDn_I1y-1GJc

MarcieB

Yes it is! Everyone should absolutely read this right now.

(this is one of the reasons I am so upset about WhatNext being so erratic - so many, who could really use the wisdom from this article, will not get a chance to see it.)

Carool

Marcie, thank you. I’m upset, too, more so than a few weeks ago. I hope Colby responds. What a waste of a great site, of things aren’t fixed soon.

Bug

Really good article, Carool. Thank you for posting. It would be good for everyone affected by cancer to read it. And relative to your other comment about this post probably not showing up on the Questions page but on your wall, yes, that’s the way I found it - on your wall. Sigh.

Carool

Bug, thank you.

“Sigh” is right. For me, it’s becoming “gnash.”

cak61

I can really appreciate this article. When I called my sister in tears to tell her I had cancer her first words were, listen to me, if you are going to beat this you have to have a positive attitude! I wasn't feeling very positive and now when I hear that "positive attitude" thing it really hits me wrong.
I know she meant well and she had been through a cancer diagnosis with one of her children, so not like she hadn't been there, but it just hit wrong. Like guilt if you don't stay positive.
I saw this in the digest email, by the way.

Carool

cak61, I’m so glad I happened to see this article (posted by a Facebook friend). I’ve been hearing that “be positive or you’ll die” b.s. since I was diagnosed. I am the poster girl for pessimism (though I’ve lightened up somewhat). If my survival depended on my being positive, I’d be long gone.

Here’s to surviving, no matter our disposition!

ChildOfGod4570

YES YES YES! I agree with this article whole heartedly! I know when I had cancer and was in the throes of active treatment I felt so icky and lonely to the extent where being positive seemed like an impossibility. I thought I was a glorified ape because of the hair loss and chemo breath and I was the only one on the face of the earth who was only a scrap of what I used to be pre-cancer. Well meaning people would keep me from comfort foods because "sweets cause cancer"; they would all but take my license to cry away because I shouldn't live in fear; and they would keep waving their proverbial pink pomm-pomms and tell me to stay positive. Easier said than done when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. I think the best thing for us is to see just what we're hungry for. With me, I would have given my appendix to have someone come over and just hold me and comfort me. Someone else might want to exercise and be coached to do their best. Another person might just want visits on the front porch.
As for the site, I, like cak61, found this on my daily digest under the heading, "Questions that may interest you".
HUGS and God bless.

beachbum5817

Thanks for the article, Carool. I received it in my digest yesterday. It was nice to hear the platitudes that people say when they hear we have cancer debunked. No one needs to be lectured and criticized by how they are dealing with their own diagnosis.

Carool

ChildOfGod, thank you (I love the “pink pomm-pomms”!). People in the throes of dealing with cancer treatments, not to mention the continued shock of the diagnosis, shouldn’t have to also fear that they’re contributing to their own demise if they allow themselves to feel “negative” emotions. Or eat candy. I’m glad that the “cancer thrives on sugar” myth hadn’t yet been created when I was undergoing my treatments.

I’m hoping our posted questions will soon appear under “Questions” (as well as in the Digest), so the questions can be seen by everyone who goes there in search of questions and answers.

Carool

beachbum, you’re welcome. I couldn’t agree more. Yes, platitudes. And bad science (or should I write “science”?).