The statement The statement "God only gives us what we can handle"

Coloman

I have had a couple of people say this to me. I am not anti-religion, I occasionally go to church. I just don't know how this is supposed to make a person who is possibly dying from cancer feel better. I'm torn over this. I honestly don't want to hear it. What do you think about it?

Bengal

I am not religious. Frankly, I do not believe god has anything to do with it. If it comforting to others then I respect their right to believe whatever they chose to believe. All I ask in return is for them to have the courtesy to grant me the same right. What I will not tolerate is for people to try to tell me what I SHOULD believe. Ever notice Cancer doesn't care if you are Christian, Jewish, Moslem, pagan. It will attack all indiscriminately. When someone tells me that my getting cancer is "God's will" I am incredulous. Just like the women I have heard say, "being diagnosed with breast cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me". Pardon my English but, horse hockey!

When someone starts the "god" conversation with me I try, without being rude, to let them know how I feel. If they persist, I forget about the not being rude part.

schweetieangel

I heard this many tines going through my treatment and not a fan of those words.

Molly72

Agree 200% with Bengal & schweetieangel.

The older I get, and the more terrible things I see - especially lately, the less I believe in a all-knowing and loving god. My opinion only. We all have to find our own way.

Many self-righteous and pompous religious folks love to expound their beliefs upon others, the truly religious, show their faith thru actions.

Created07

I think the best way I've heard it explained was by the father of a little 4-year-old girl. He said that as much as he loved her he couldn't always kep bad things from happening to her. He said he could be holding her hand, she could step into a hole, fall and break her leg. She would be in extreme pain, but he would gather her up in his arms and make it better. I can only give my experience. I have no idea why I got 4 major cancers within a 6 year span. I only know the peace I gained through it all just knowing He was holding me in His arms the whole time

JaneA

People repeat "dumb" things that they have heard other people say. They don't know what to say, but they want to say something to you. And that's what they say. Don't take it personally and don't let it get to you. Just keep on walking.

po18guy

I'm a Catholic Boy (but not Jim Carroll). I believe in the transcendent - that which goes beyond this life, our experiences and even our ability to perceive. After years of a relatively dormant faith, it increased rapidly just before my diagnosis. My faith sustained me through my three diagnoses, almost twelve years of treatment and facing death, what, 3 or 4 times?

I was ready to go, but did not go. As to the statement that God will not give you more than you can bear, yes, I believe that is true. As I see it, our problem arrives when we do not ask for the strength to persevere. A plus is that I have learned the hard way the value, meaning and purpose of suffering. Since suffering is the universal human experience, seeing it - amazingly - as a positive can be transforming.

OK, enough.

LiveWithCancer

I believe the verse is misquoted and misunderstood. Do a search on it and I think you will find there are a number of things attributed to the Bible that simply aren't there (another one is "God helps those who help themselves").

Here's what I know as a deeply religious individual who cannot imagine going through a single moment without God's mighty hand in my life. I have gone through some hard trials and tribulations, as have all of us.

The way I have faced them is with the peace of God's love in my life. His being in my life doesn't mean i haven't had to go through chemo or bad news or burying my father and (much) later, my son - it doesn't mean deep sorrows haven't come our way.

It does mean that I have a peace and inner joy that I personally believe only comes through Him. And that peace and joy are there no matter what.

I do think that people who say these kind of things to you are trying to make you feel better. It is so hard for people to know what to say. It seems like different people are offended by different things ... and who knows what is going to set wrong with whom... i have been a cancer survivor for 7+ years and I still don't know what I should say when someone tells me about their diagnosis. I usually go with, "oh no! I am so sorry. I am here for you. What can I do?" I suspect some would find even that not to be comforting or appropriate ...

Molly72

I am offended because I do not have the the belief system or religion as the person forcing their ideas onto me at a very difficult period in my life. Yes, to me, it is forcing. And yes, it is extremely difficult to know what to say to someone. May I give the example of a certain "christian" sect that hounds hapless people at their doors every Sunday trying to save their souls?
So just say, I'm sorry-- Let me buy you lunch or a coffee!
I do not believe in your bible, it is not relevant to me, but I am happy that your religion gives you comfort and peace.

For those who believe that suffering to be a positive experience, I shall also say that if through pain and misery you receive peace, have at it. It's not for me as I have had enough pain in my life, mostly physical thru cancer and arthritis and can't quite understand the positive side of it. I must be a hopeless heathen!

So, whatever helps us make it thru the night.

Bengal

I was accosted in our local Wal-Mart last week by a neighbor who told me I was going to Hell. I informed her I did not believe in Hell and therefore had no worries about ending up there. She's Evangelical Christian and was determined to convert me right there in the potato chip aisle! This is what is unacceptable to me. I respect her Constitutionally guaranteed right to believe whatever she chooses so don't you dare deny me the same courtesy. If people find comfort in believing they are on God's hands, great. I do not. What I do believe is living the best life I can, kindness to other people, doing nothing, intentionally, to harm another, respecting all people and acknowledging their belief systems, sexual orientation, and cultural heritage are just as valid as any other.

cllinda

I think this is a bunch of bunk! And I remember hearing this quite often, because my son had a serious accident two months prior to my diagnosis.

Created07

In saying what I said above, I think I need to clarify something . The words "God will not give you anything you cannot handle." are the last things in the world I would ever say to someone in any kind of pain. What we feel about a higher being is a very personal thing. I happen to believe in God. I don't whip Him out the way I would a credit card. I try (don't always succeed) to show how I care. Speak how I care and just 'be' there. If I have offended anyone, I am so sorry. That was not my intention.

Bengal

Not at all Created07. I thought your words were quite eloquent in expressing your personal beliefs. You are entitled. I happen to believe something else but neither should diminish the other.

Created07

Thank you, Bengal. I would Never want to hurt anyone. There is too much of that already, partially thanks to cancer.

BoiseB

@Bengal for many cancer might not have the best thing that happened to them. But there are a few of us that cancer was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. Had I not been diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago I would not be alive today. When I went to the Dr. because I thought I had a contagious flu, I would have gone to the event I was planning to go to and taken the short cut home that had a dangerous curve that I would take my car off making my death look like an accident. Since the Dr. said that I would have 4-9 months to live, I thought I might as well stick it out and my daughter could have a really nice car. However my brother was in town and took me to the appointment. My nephew is a primary care Dr. So my brother insisted that my nephew see my records to get a second opinion. Things happened so fast I didn't have time to think. My nephew got me an appointment with a doctor doing a new kind of surgery. And my life was out of my hands. I can honestly say that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.
As for the belief in God yes I believe there is a God. And I do believe in an afterlife. My basic belief are sort of like po18guy. The statement "God will never give you more than you can handle" to me is a challenge and I thrive on challenges. I have not reached my belief in God because I need comfort. I reached my belief in God through logic. My belief in God gives me no comfort. Because if there is a God, I am accountable to God. So I resent it when non-believers treat me in an condescending manner.

Gumpus61

Perhaps it means we get to decide how to feel about things like Cancer. Having known many Cancer Patients I would say the vast majority are quite resolute in accepting and dealing with what the diagnosis means. Regardless of who delivers the unique spark that drives that kind of choice making, It is unique in humans of all living things. Giving credit for that to a "God' is OK.....especially if there is no other explanation.

lindi143

Actually the Bible never says that it says He will help
Us. God gives us many things we cannot handle in order to rely on him

BoiseB

I don't know where the quote came from but I have heard it stated this way "God only gives us what HE can handle"