Carool

Hi, I understand, but when a member says- Greg-- it's over the limit. I went to her page and asked her if she had any reasons, such as abuse or other physical problems that would cause her to feel this way. I told her that if she is scared of being treated poorly during treatment-that would be easy to do at this point-that having this bad treatment while dying would be worse, lots worse. I told her that I didn't believe in divorce for anything, but I know that god doesn't want any woman to be carried out in a casket- I left.
I also told her that my Dad lived for 3 years after they found advanced stomach cancer in the 1950s. They said that he wouldn't last 6 weeks, after the exploratory to find the reason for the intestinal blockage. The implied message is don't expect to be dead in 3 months.

Part of this is might be the recent announcement that all breast cancers aren't cancers. She might be one of the herb-diet believers-or a laying of hands people. I just know that there is a point when all is said. We see a picture of a nice looking woman standing by a country road for her avatar-real life might not be like that at all. Yeah, many members asked her why. I think the second reply is "WHY?" As you said to me, she hasn't said anything more-that doesn't mean that she hasn't visited the site-at least from what I can tell.

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is pat someone on the shoulder, and be respectful. That person is making their own choices. She may have made it. One reason that I'm this way is that my cancer is on my face. I won't go to cancer support groups because everybody zeros in on me, and tells me what to do- and the social workers haven't stopped it. Then I have a rare form of BCC- and I have to listen to twits tell me that it's a minor thing. My ENT--the tumors will drill into your brain until one hits something vital that stops you from breathing. I'm in remission from radiation, but a 100% say it will be back in a few years, even if I had the bone cut out. People can tell others what they should do to a certain point. Maybe she was or is a caretaker for someone that became violently ill with chemo in a late stage of cancer. I had a friend of over 30 years that refused to return for more chemo and surgery-tobacco-mouth cancer-stage 3 when diagnosed. I tried to talk her out of it. Then I respected her and hugged her. It went to her brain, and she was in agony. Sometimes a soft word will do wonders.

On MedPage, DrKEVMD, Wileyhealthsciences, Sunrise Rounds, etc. There is a lively debate about the role of a patient -in a patient centric health system. Everybody says that the patient should have the final say, and we talk about how said it is. Most agree that nagging really doesn't work. She's been given the pros and cons, but What nexters should be reminded about the right to privacy and respect.

Mine are so sweet. They realize that I'm not what I was before the strep---No cold noses. Mine are clowns-but they are a very dignified breed. It helps that the female can open doors and let themselves out. They stand and stare at me, slowly wagging their tails. The male might give a soft 'yoo', and wait . While he's waiting-he puffs his cheeks out- in- out-His lips are so huge that they get tangled in his teeth-and he looks like a cartoon character. Tell me about the vet bills-it takes more that a yearly shot and license. I have pet insurance, so that helps for a bad year.
Merry Christmas, if I don't talk to you B4

How unfortunate that meyati calls for us to respect each other and then in the next paragraph proceeds to disrespect you. I agree with you completely, Carool. Hope your holidays are wonderful! Peg

Thank u Best Carool. Happy Christmass. Yes I have found one Lary in my locality who is speaking oesophageal speech. He taught me some throat and neck excercises. I have to practice those excercises. Then he will teach me how to speak oesophageal speech. Thank u again.

i am replying to your comment about digital imaging for mammo-sure wish we had that here-any mammo i've had has been very painful & I am also up for my 1st fu after surgery/rads-where are you from?

Hi ya;

We have had different experiences and we have different beliefs.

Most of the doctors I saw were idiots (truly) and I saw quite a few of them. It took me THIRTEEN years to get a diagnosis despite the fact that I presented the problem to every doctor I saw with seeming zillions of specialties including dermatology and oncology.

Of course, lol, I'm in the back waters of Fort Lauderdale and you are in NY (the City?). My guess is that 70-80% of doctors are idiots or thieves or both. Actually, the same is true of any profession. Sadly, doctors go to great lengths to not disclose whether they were at the top or the bottom of their classes in school.

In truth, I don't trust their methods or their madness. I walked away from treatment when I was finally diagnosed because they did not yet have enough good stats to entice me. I began to use alternative methodologies. I was somewhere between enticed and railroaded back into the fold with bold lies and subterfuge.

I'm alive, which is nice but I'm mutilated which isn't so nice. I tried to run when they took my appendix as a kid :-) and I haven't changed my attitude since then. I don't actually know if you are lucky to be able to trust or if I am entrusted with information to spread over their lies and misinformation.

In any case, thank you for toning me down and best healthy wishes always.

oops correction on digital mammo-after reading up on it quess we do have that-just wish they didn't have to squeeze you to take pictures

Hi Carool, This is Karen "Ella" Lord. I believe in thinking "Positive" as when you are in chemotherapy and the everyday depression that settled in, when I was in a fetal position in bed for 6 months. My grandmother would say,"Do not get discouraged". I believe that the mind has alot to do with the connection of the disease, at this point. This is on,y my opinion and I went through it. Thank you for your wonderful input, dear..;)

Hi Carool...about 3 weeks ago you, and several others, were contacted by a Thomas Craig whose friend, Cora, was looking for people to participate in a paid telephone interview...some of us were wondering what ever happened with that...the fellow never got back to Greg to let him know what this was about. Could you let me know, if you have a minute? Thanks, Grace

No kidding, Carool! So many people have told me to "put your trust in God", but personally, I would rather trust my DOCTORS who have been to medical school, LOL! Am happy someone else feels like me!

Loved your sarcasm about Republicans shutting down the govt! You are a kick! Wish you lived "out west" somewhere so we could meet!

Hi, glad to meet you.

I can't believe this, hear I am on your wall leaving you a message - and you leave me one. When I saw your answers I said "I must get to know Carool- she sounds like my kind of person. I am being treated at Columbia Presbyterian - we are so lucky to have so many great cancer centers to choose from.

Hey Carol we are looking for people going through cancer treatments.

Loved your response! Some people can eat, breath & think of nothing else than forcing their views on the rest of us!

sorry to post again so soon but i just realized you said your tumor was only 1.7 mm - that seems teensy weeny yet you still had to have all that chemo/rad - guess size is not the issue with tumors always but quality

thanks for your insight on combined possible combined diagnoses for lobular & ductal c...i enjoy reading your comments because they are so positive and helpful! i've always been a bit of a glass is half empty person but am fast learning you need to be glass is half full about this stuff in order to tolerate what you never sought. 2 weeks ago I had no idea what ductal and lobular meant...

glad they didn't put my arms into a mold to hold them down-i hate being confined-just holding them up was very uncomfortable on 1 side

Carool, thanks so much for taking the time to answer my question about the lumpectomy. It's nice to hear a positive experience.

its still on the back-hard on my back that old table-not sure which would be worse lying on your stomach or back -done the stomach thing for MRI's etc

Carool, thx for taking the time to share your exp with A/C? Ts appreciated, it's good advice and it helps. I hope all is well with you. Thx again.

welcome to WhatNext. I'm sorry you needed to find us, but now that you are here you will find the greatest bunch of supportive people whose combined knowledge is awesome. We can answer your questions, hear you vent and celebrate good news with you.

Welcome to the WhatNext family! The WhatNext family is made up of people like you who are looking for help or looking to help others. To help you along your journey the WhatNext family has put together a Beginner's Guide to Cancer that I highly recommend you check-out here: http://bit.ly/10BQKCi. Also, please do not hesitate to reach out to others or ask for help.

Wishing you the best.

David
Founder, WhatNexter