Do you get the feeling of being alone or like life is passing you by since your diagnosis?

Bloodproblems

I feel like I'm literally stuck in life. Like I can't move while life is passing me by, everybody else's life is moving on and they are doing things, making plans, etc. and I'm stuck. It's a weird feeling.

Teachertina

I had that feeling for a little while and then I decided to try a few things I wanted to do. Nothing outrageous or anything dangerous, just little things like going for a walk around my neighborhood or trying a new recipe. I hung bird feeders near windows and enjoyed watching them. I called family and friends to ask them how they were doing and then I got calls back and invitations to go do things. Try not to crawl in a hole, stick out your neck and look for what you want. You’ll be surprised, I bet. Hang in there, wishing you well!

LiveWithCancer

I'm sorry you are feeling that way, @Bloodproblems. I can see how the isolation caused by coronavirus may be causing some of those feelings as well.

From the time I was told I had stage IV lung cancer, I determined that I was going to live my life. Many, many people have no idea I even have cancer.

As much as was possible, from the very beginning, I kept up my activities: working, playing agility with my dogs, going out with friends and family. There were weeks where that was nearly impossible due to being so sick from chemotherapy, but as soon as it was humanly possible, I was back at it.

The coronavirus has slowed me down and caused many of my activities to be done online instead of in person. I'm starting to get bored ... I am ready to get back to the business of living.

My advice is to not let cancer have the upper hand. My personal philosophy is and has been that I am going to LIVE every moment I can until I simply can't any longer. I might not make plans for really long-term events, but I can certainly plan for this day, this week, and this month.

Good luck! Please don't let depression get you down.

legaljen1969

@Bloodproblems, I have had that feeling and it has certainly been exacerbated by COVID. There will definitely be times you want to be quiet and have solitude, but I know that feeling of being alone and what a hole it can leave in your life.

As much as we might not feel like it sometimes, we are the ones that dictate how our interactions with others will go. Lots of people think "Oh she needs to process" or "Oh, I better leave her alone and let her rest." I have had enough rest in the past six months that if someone told me I had to do something social every single day for the next six months, I would be overjoyed.

At the beginning of my journey after diagnosis, I was very upfront about things. I shared the steps and as much of my story as I was able to do. I had a LOT of support while sharing my story until that ONE person told me they were sick of reading about it and seeing it. Then, instead of suggesting they scroll on by, I deleted everything and went into my shell. So a lot of my loneliness and life passing me by was of my own making. It has been hard to get back into the world because of COVID. I can't pick right back up with those people I withdrew from when I was diagnosed. I try- via social media and phone calls and Facetime/Zoom or whatever there is.

As Teachertina said, reach out and make contact. You may find that people want to see you and interact with you. Maybe they thought you were not doing well or maybe they think you are isolating and that being around you might be dangerous. If you are up to being social and getting back to life, let them know what you CAN do and what you NEED to make that possible.

As LivingWithCancer said, sometimes just keeping up with your regular routine and the things you love to do can be extremely therapeutic and freeing.

If you are up to getting back on the crazy train we call life, then hop on and start living. It's not easy sometimes. It can be scary. I think getting diagnosed during these recent uncertain times has probably made people a lot more anxious and depressed because they can't go out with their friends or have someone over just to have a laugh session or cry session. It's just not the same processing these decisions by video or by ourselves or even on WhatNext. There is something unique about human face to face interaction that seems to make most of life much more interesting and even bearable.

I wish you the best in getting back in the swing of things. It's HARD for some of us, many of us. Even if we feel sadness at being alone, some of us start getting accustomed to our loneliness and find it hard to break free.

We are always here at WhatNext. There may be different ones and different times. At the very least, you definitely have a place to reach out here.

po18guy

I had that feeling 'before' diagnosis. Since then, my purpose has been revealed to me. My life has been spared several times so that I might encourage others along the way. If a door has been closed, look for an open window.

cllinda

I felt like that going through treatments. My life rotated around chemo, being sick, doctor appointments and hospital stays. 2013 is just a blur for me. I have no idea what else happened during that year. And it took me at least a year before life was normal again.

JaneA

It's easy to feel like that during active treatment when everything revolves around medical appointments - we feel like we don't have a life.

It's funny/strange - I was just looking at my Facebook memories. And what did I do five years ago while I was still in active treatment for Stage IV rectal cancer? I got up early and watered my garden.

We have to force and make ourselves stay engaged in the things we love when cancer comes to visit. It's hard because of the side effects, but try doing some of your favorite things. The COVID-19 makes some favorite things almost impossible, like foreign travel but hobbies and pets are a great part of life.

I have a good friend (met in a cancer wellness program 4 years ago. She is a 13-year multiple myeloma survivor. In that time, her youngest child graduated from high school, and she's got seven grandchildren now. I hope that you feel better soon.

GregP_WN

I understand your feelings. I've not gotten into depression over it, but I have been sort of mad a t the world about it thinking about all of the things that I could be doing that I can't now.

Bengal

While I was going through treatment I felt my life was on hold but at the same time there was a purpose to what I was going tbrough. Like someone else said, that whole year was something of a blur. Now, two years out from treatment I still struggle to redefine what my life is, trying to reconcile what I went through with lingering debilitating side effects. As Greg said, sometimes I feel mad at the world. I have a punching bag. Highly recommend it!

Whitey61

yrs since diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer, initially given 3-6 months terminal prognosis...fooled them!..no response to any conventional treatment., Had my tumor Genetically Sequenced at Foundation medicine and matched me to effective treatment with checkpoint inhibitor immunotherapy.. currently after 50 Infusions over 5 yrs in complete durable remission NED, I supplement with Vitamin D, calcium, eat healthy and treat myself often, i stay active, started my own business after early retirement, advocate and travel the world for several Biotechnology and Cancer Foundations speaking on Genetics and Immunotherapy, all this just keeps me going..God Bless you all.