Cancer in the time of Covid

Sasukesuma

I have just started chemo for peritoneal carcinoma. I was in remission for from Fallopian tube cancer for 16 months, which is apparently longer than expected. My problem is that my best friend is angry and not speaking to me because she doesn’t understand why I won’t come over and hang out with her. She went to see her doctor two days ago. He told her she doesn’t have Covid because she had all the symptoms except the fever. So it’s not Covid. I call bullshit. She wants to know why I let my son in law come over. It’s because i know he fallows all the protocol. And he spends most of the time in the garage and I’m in the house.
She claims she is safe because she rarely leaves the house and wears a mask when she does. I know that is new because recently I went will her to a couple of stores and she refused to wear a mask. Also she lives in a house with four other guys. I know that none of them are being careful. She says, but I hardly ever see them. Do you have this problem, too?

GregP_WN

It's pretty easy on your part, you are doing the right thing. Those four people could be carriers and not know it, they could turn her into a carrier, and then pass it on to you. That's how it works. You are more susceptible to this covid than the average person is. I have just started treatment again too and have a similar issue. But Donna makes it simple, if you're coming over here you probably won't be around me, and if you are you will have a mask and stay 6ft. away. Don't feel bad at all, it's her problem for not understanding the whole process. That's the problem we have right now in the whole US, half of the people that are refusing to wear a mask just don't understand.

Sasukesuma

I figure I will just wait her out. She will get over it eventually

legaljen1969

@Sasukesuma, hopefully she will "get over it" and realize that in order to protect her friend she must do what is safe for you. I have a friend who is very much in the "anti-mask" camp and it is absolutely stunning to me that she is so adamant about it because her mother had a stroke several months ago and has three different kinds of cancer at this time. I can't even remember what all she is because my friend says it is like her mom walked through the cancer minefield with magnets and picked them all up.
I have told my friend that it is important to me to wear a mask if it protects me at all. Maybe because it's not a N-95 mask it won't provide maximum protection, but it's better than nothing.
She is supposed to be coming to visit near me in about 2 weeks. Our local municipal governments have all passed mandatory mask laws until the end of August (at least). She is debating whether she will come or not. There is also a $500 fine and possible jail time if caught unmasked. That, if nothing else, would be enough to convince me to mask up for a bit.
Anyhow, if she doesn't come around- it may be time to re-evaluate your friendship. I am going through that with a few people right now. It's amazing how fast I have figured out who really cares. That list grows shorter every day.

GregP_WN

The common thread with people objecting to the wearing of a mask is that they all think it's about THEM. It has more to do with protecting OTHERS rather than the person objecting. Another example of people thinking that someone is MAKING them do something instead of them just doing the right thing.

MyLungCancer

I have a few friends and even some family that have all but disappeared since this covid thing started and I enforce a "no mask, no enter" policy at our house. As Greg said, some people think it's all about them instead of protecting others. People really need to get themselves educated over this issue.

JaneA

You've made the right decision. It's not worth the risk.

kalindria

You can't be too careful. There's no going back once you have COVID. And we're finding out there are long term residual effects on people who've been infected. It's not worth the risk. Visit via Facetime or Zoom or something if you have to.

Kylerem

Hi-I’m sorry you’re friend is not being understanding. I am angry for you. I honestly cannot relate to this. I live in the northeast and almost everyone wears a mask in public and practices social distancing without batting an eyelash-we are used to it. All of my friends and family know that I can only visit with them outside and at least 6 feet apart-they are all happy to do this small thing for me. At the center where I am treated I am told by the nurses that they go to work and home-they have family doing their shopping for them so don’t put their patients, who are total strangers to them, at risk. My own son will not come in my house as he lives in a city and does not want to put me at risk. You need to stand your ground for your safety. Your friend is being selfish

JustGrateful

It's too bad that a lot of people are not able to or refuse to understand the seriousness of this situation. This is the very reason that we are going back into a lock down and may not be out for a while. If the number of cases keeps escalating we won't see the sun for months. And even with all of that there are people that insist that there is NO VIRUS that this is all a hoax. Do they think these people who are dying are just volunteering to be a part of the big scam? I don't understand. My attitude has changed to I don't care what those people think anymore, I'm not going to waste my time trying to educate someone who is incapable of understanding it. I am slowly phasing some friends out who are like that. I have a couple that think that way and want to come to see me, but when I say fine, but you have to have mask on and stay away from me, then they refuse to come over. Whatever.