Are you carrying some anger around with you through your cancer diagnosis and treatments?

GregP_WN

I'm guilty of this myself. There doesn't seem to be an end to what keeps getting stacked on top of a cancer patient. Just as we think things are going pretty good and this might turn out OK, BAM, something kicks you right in the knees, I have a saying that I use all the time. Every time something else happens either with our business, (a daily crisis), around the house, or in cancer world, I just say "it's just another day".

I mean that every day something is going to happen, go wrong, or whatever. I expect it, I know that when it comes it's no big deal, it will either get handled or it will handle itself.

Our blog post today has some details about how you might do a little forgiveness. Read it here>> https://www.whatnext.com/blog/posts/forgiveness-and-its-roll-in-cancer

legaljen1969

I fell for some article on Facebook today, However, the article was actually pretty funny. It was a humrous take on the emotions that go along with cancer. I will try to see if I can get a good link so I can properly credit the author. If not, I may post on my update and make clear I am not the author.

I do know what you mean about anger and forgiveness.

legaljen1969

I fell for some article on Facebook today, However, the article was actually pretty funny. It was a humrous take on the emotions that go along with cancer. I will try to see if I can get a good link so I can properly credit the author. If not, I may post on my update and make clear I am not the author.

I do know what you mean about anger and forgiveness.

legaljen1969

OOps. I didn't mean to post twice.

Bug

My husband and I have a saying... "If it isn't one thing it's ten others."

Good blog post, Greg.

centered1

I guess I've always been one of those "Why Not me." kind of people. In radiation I would see these little children going through brain cancer. Their little bald heads would break my heart. Why not me. I would see people who could hardly move because of treatments, waiting for a cab or bus to take them home while my sweet husband waited for our valet car to be brought around to take Us home. Why not me. Even through 4 cancers, I have been so very blessed, I can't possibly be anything but thankful. After four, there may still be a fifth.....

JaneA

We always say, "Just another day in Paradise." Seems like every time that we get something paid off, there is something else to replace. Unfortunately, these twists and turns and maladies are just part of life.

LiveWithCancer

@centered1, I totally agree. I am a Why Not Me kinda girl, too.

MarcieB

I am working on being done with anger. Before I was diagnosed I thought my trials were all of the emotional nature. My child was born with muscular dystrophy and never walked, my husband (his father) died of melanoma and I lost my son 6 years later. I buried my parents and my only sibling/brother, who passed from non-hodgkins. I think most of my grief was laced with anger and sometimes I wonder if all that anger left me vulnerable to disease. I was not angry when I was diagnosed, I felt almost calm. I came to feel like this would be an opportunity to reflect on what was working for me in my life and what was not. The anger was glaring and I knew I would have to make peace all the things in my life that hurt me. I recently read a description of anger as being a *burning hot coal in your hand which you intend to fling at someone, but YOU are the one who is burned.* I believe that is a pretty accurate description. I still have to work on subduing a tendency to lash out when provoked, but I AM working on it, I really am. Thankfully, it is not as difficult as I originally thought it would be.

Paperpusher

Hubby does carry some anger. It was really bad after he had his stroke and so much was lost so quickly. The lung cancer on top of and on the same side as his stroke makes it hard for him to breathe well which affects his stamina. He wants so badly to do things that he can't. He has a short fuse. I try to point out how lucky he is that he can still drive and talk while so many others can't This while his car has been sitting for two months until my son and I jumped it and I took it for a drive. The upside of it all is that we found out he has a clotting disorder which is hereditary. he went on Coumadin and his unstable high bp dropped like a rock. Family members were tested so now we know that his brother, both of our kids and our grandson have it. They can prevent the heart attacks and strokes. Out of the bad comes some good.

CASSIEME1

I never thought it was anger. my sister once said that god had a sense of humor. I am not one quick to laugh I; I said I don't see anything funny. she claims I am bitter because of my cancer . I told her let someone put this poison in your body than see if anything is funny. I don't look at pain and illness the way they see it. I had people to say at least you didn't die. ...really...

Bengal

I am with you Cassie1. I am angry that I got stuck with this crap. I try very hard not to let that dominate my life but the anger is still there. I I think God does have a sense of humor and sometimes a very warped sense of humor. Talk about the ultimate in bad taste practical joke. One day your just swimming along in life and the next, boom, guess what? You have cancer! It is said those who get a cancer diagnosis will go through something akin to the stages of grief. (Well of course there is grief.). Anger is one stage I cannot seem to get past.

CASSIEME1

Bengal, how do you go through the stages of grief of something that is with you for the rest of your life. you didn't choose this it chose you. it doesn't matter if you are eating right, exercising not smoking , drinking clubbing ,doing the wrong things in life but you get the worst of things to happen to you. people that are doing evil get away with it and prosper. ministers say favor isn't fair dah!!!!! so I find no humor in suffering.

legaljen1969

I know I am coming back to something posted several weeks ago, but I know I had a lot of anger for quite awhile. Too many of you have realized that many of posts have been/are pretty negative and pretty bleak. For several years I made a habit of doing "angel" posts on Facebook and thanking those around me for things they did that just made something a little better. People were always so surprised when their name came up on my feed. It always makes me feel better when I look for the good in a situation, even when I have to look REALLY hard sometimes.
I've had a lot of the "Why not me" moments too, when I just don't understand how such terrible things can happen to others and they still manage to get through it with a smile. I just know I would not be posting funny little sayings if I were going through a quarter of what most of you are going through or have gone through. Then again, maybe that is when I really would dig deep and find the goodness. I don't know.
Some of the things that make me angry? The fact that my friend's husband was isolated in his assisted living place and she was not able to be with him when he died. My friend's daughter had to have her baby all by herself without her any extra support other than the medical team- no husband in the room, no mom or dad or whoever. It was her first child and she did it all alone. My neighbors whose children graduated high school this year without anything more than a virtual "walk." The senior proms missed. The senior skip days missed The weddings cancelled. My friends who spent tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments that have had to skip months of trying to get pregnant, and who decided that they simply cannot afford to start over and keep trying if they hope to have any money left to have a life with that child.
I am angry that the world is so cruel that there is the need for these protests, and that these people feel so much hurt and anger that need to protest outweighs their need to be safe from the virus.
I am angry that we live in a world where our happiness and joy cannot be expressed because it might hurt the feelings of someone else. We have become so worried about making sure no-one is offended that we have deprived ourselves of being able to feel joy and happiness when things DO go well.
This virus has stolen the joy from so many ordinary moments. It is definitely a situation that can bring a lot of anger. But I have really started focusing on the good things, no matter how small they are. I'm slowly gaining ground in getting out of this hole of despair.