Someone asked me how it felt to be a "cancer victim"

MyLungCancer

I stood there for a minute taking that in before saying anything. I didn't know what to say, but I don't feel like a victim. I wasn't robbed at gunpoint late at night at a CStore. I guess I would prefer a patient. What do you call yourself? I have never thought about it.

Carool

Not the most sensitive way for your friend to have put it. I call myself a breast cancer survivor, when the need arises. I must say, however, that I have to laugh-snarl whenever I read someone was “touched by cancer.” I always feel that “mugged by cancer” is far more appropriate.

Bengal

I do feel very much "victimized" by this chronic illness. It came out of nowhere with no warning and utterly changed my life. I wasn't robbed at gunpoint but I was most definitely robbed. Carool, your words " mugged by cancer" are appropriate. I have been a patient, I am surviving but cancer stole great chunks of my life which I still struggle to redefine.

Carool

Bengal, thank you.

cllinda

I didn't feel victimized when I was told it was breast cancer. I did feel like I was robbed of a year of my life. But then I look back and see that the worst year of our lives (my son had a serious accident just two months before my dx.) Also brought my family together. So I value that and that my true friends stood by my side and got me through it.
One incident I remember very clearly was that I was in the hospital for my birthday and my good friend brought me balloons and decorations for my room. And the nurse brought me chocolate cake. It was perfect.

LiveWithCancer

Wow!!! I don't feel victimized either. I personally think that's a horrible way to put it. I would have been dumbfounded if someone used that term for me ... and I think I would have said so. I generally don't care how people call it ... a journey, a fight, a war ... whatever ... I don't have strong feelings, but victim? I have pretty strong negative feelings about that term.

I call myself a survivor or patient ... or generally none of the above ... I just say, "I have cancer," if I say anything at all.

JaneA

I never felt like a victim. It's a disease just like hundreds of other diseases. I've always considered myself a warrior, girding myself to face scary procedures.

Paperpusher

I've never heard my husband described as anything but a patient although he sure felt like a victim when he was going through chemo. That was wicked.

Shoeless

Definitely a victor or maybe a patient, never a victim. With the help of my oncologist and my surgeon, I killed cancer, so I would say that cancer was the victim and I am the victor.

SLM

I am not comfortable with any of the cancer titles to use for myself. If someone uses a term that feels weird to me, they have likely never had cancer. Therefore, they know not what they do. God bless them and I pray they never do. Greg posted a pink cat, rather scraggly and scuffed up, awhile back that said, "People call me a survivor. It's not as cool as it sounds." Hillarios! Sorry I can't find it to share with you. Maybe Greg will send us both a copy.

po18guy

President Reagan had a very unusual take on this. When asked about his cancer, he replied "I don't have cancer. Something in me had cancer and the doctors took it out."