Anyone else have a family member residing in any kind of healthcare or other type of communal living

Bengal

As I've mentioned before my mom (94) now resides at a senior skilled nursing facility because of a crippling stroke suffered about a year and a half ago. In these times of encouraged self isolation these folks are literally trapped in a communal living situation with staff moving in and out daily. I just found out tonight that an employee at the sister facility to the one my mother lives at tested positive for Covid19. I also know these two homes at times shuffle employees I hope they are not doing that now. I am absolutely terrified. I know my mother, because of her age and infirmity could pass on at any time but NOT THIS WAY! I hate this.

legaljen1969

I don't have a family member residing in such a facility but one of my friend's husband is residing in a facility like this. It is so hard on her not seeing him and being able to spend physical one on one time with him. They finally got Zoom set up and they are video chatting, but it's not the same I am so thankful my grandmothers did not have to live through this. I cannot imagine the worry you feel about your mother. It is hard knowing they are at "end of life" anyhow, much less experiencing it in this way.
Hang in there. I will be thinking about you and your mom.

Bengal

Thanks, legaljen. Support at this time means everything. I am allowed to visit my mother through her closed window. I think I will go tomorrow.

Bug

Oh, Bengal - I'm sorry. Hang in there. Let us know how she's doing after you see her.

Lorie

Bengal, I have a friend whose wife is in a facility and he's in the same situation. She has dementia and is in her own world. I see how not being able to be with her is taking a toll on him. It's so hard and my thoughts are with you.
Lorie

GregP_WN

Bengal, we all hope your mom does great with no issues. It is a scary situation because of what's happening in so many of these homes.

cak61

My father in law is in an assisted living five hours away. We have family there that would visit and take him out for dinner all the time, but now no visitors, and he's not allowed to leave his room. They deliver his food to his door.
It's like he's in prison.
I feel so bad for him.
We call every day and he just keeps repeating how he's not allowed out of his room. He has some dementia, no short term memory. It's hard for him to understand. He keeps saying hopefully this will end next week.

GregP_WN

Donna's mom was in 3 different facilities for rehab before she passed away. We often talk about if she was still alive today she would have been a basket case because she was convinced she had every new disease that came along. We are happy that she didn't have to go through this one.

ChildOfGod4570

It's such a heartbreak. A lot of these people don't understand why the visits andhugs stoped coming. Tragically, isolation may keep COVID-19 away, but it makes things rougher on the already lonely. HUGS and God bless.

BuckeyeShelby

Oh Bengal, I'm so sorry. I think this whole mess is the first time that I'm glad my mom is on the other side of the rainbow bridge, playing w/her kitties. ***I*** caught an upper respiratory thing the weekend before she had her 2nd stroke. She'd been all chipper when I stopped in to drop off clean laundry and apologize that I couldn't stay because I didn't wanna get the patients or the staff sick. I'd been on anti-biotics a couple days when I got the call, and still ended up living in her room at the nursing home for 3 days until she passed away -- she'd been on hospice care. I'm glad I didn't have to face today's disease, and I'm so sorry you and your mom do have to face it. Virtual hugs.

Bengal

I did visit my mom today, shouting trying to be hear, writing messages on paper to hold up for her to read and using sign language trying to have a conversation. She has remained stoic throughout (child of the Great Depression) and seems in good spirits. The biggest issue for residents seems to be boredom. With curtailed visitation and no congregating allowed all activities have been suspended. They remain in their rooms and pass the hours by watching TV. My mother has a laptop and sketch pad, pencils and paint and likes to read. Only problem with tnat, she's gone through all the books in their limited library and the public library is closed. I've been bringing her some of her own books from home to re-read but wonder about the wisdom of them allowing things to continue to be brought in from outside and if they will continue to allow it. Anyway, long winded way of saying I feel much better for having seen her and am keeping my fingers gets crossed that they can keep this "beast" outside their doors.

Carol1286

My 90 year old dad is in a skilled nursing facility. The facility has been on lockdown since March 15th. He's very hard of hearing, even with his two hearing aides. I call, but I feel as though I'm shouting to be heard. He's been in the facility for two years now since he broke his back and can no longer walk. His mind is really slipping. It's hard to see him this way.

Bengal

So sorry to learn about your dad, Carol1286. It is so hard right now not being able to visit. My mom is very deaf and doesn't use a phone. She does use email on her laptop and we try to have conversations through a closed window. I just hope she lives through this so we can get back to in person visits. Her birthday is in July. Maybe we can do it by then.

Dawsonsmom

I feel so bad for all the families with loved ones in nursing/assisted living facilities. I can only imagine the fear. A friends fa was hospitalized for pneumonia and is being discharged to a nursing home secondary to dementia. She is beside herself with worry and guilt. It’s bad enough her dad has to go into care, but she can’t even take him or visit. So, so sad.

Jayne

My mother in law is - she's 101, I sure will be devastated if this is the way she goes. She's outlived 2 of 3 children and her husband. She deserves to die peacefully and from a ripe old age, not ravaged by the virus. I'm so sorry for the folks who have lost elderly relatives. I have 4 other relatives over the age of 90 and worry about them constantly.

Bengal

Well, it finally happened. I knew it was inevitable but keep hoping not. Covid19 is inside my mother's senior care facility. So far it's just one case, one staff member who tested positive, but in these communal living situations it is so hard to control once it gets a toe in the door. In a way it's almost a relief. I've worried about this so much from the start, knowing sooner or later it would happen. Now I've had that call. They are doing everything within their power to keep it isolated but what does that even mean. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!

legaljen1969

Bengal, I hope they can keep it contained and keep all of the residents safe. My husband called me a couple of hours ago and told me his co-worker's wife had passed away from coronavirus complications. I asked if the husband had been quarantined. He told me no. I asked if he had known this co-worker's wife had it. He did. I was pretty disturbed that this man had been coming to work knowing he could have passed it to others and they could bring it home.
I had literally just been to my surgeon's office for a checkup. Thankfully I did wear a mask, but I had answered all of my questions "no" that I had not been exposed to anyone who might have it. Now I question what if this co-worker had it, exposed my husband to it and then he exposed me to it. I have called my surgeon's office and told them what happened and that I found out after I had been there already.
Anyhow, I will get tested, as will my husband. I hope it comes up negative or I am going to be one pissed off wife.

Bengal

Horrifying news from my mother's senior care faciity. The week started out great. The one person who had tested positive for Covid19 had completed required14 day quarantine and had 2 consecutive negative tests. All was well. Everyone relaxes. Then yesterday the Medical Director, the doctor who sees ALL the residents and also has an outside private practice, so has been in contact with many, many people, tested positive. Everyone will be retested. What I want to say right now would all be x'd out so just let me do it. XXXXXXXXXXXXX!

legaljen1969

@Bengal- oh dear. I’m sorry this happened. I know it’s nerve wracking for you! I would have lots of X words too! Just try to keep in touch with her and do the best you can not to worry too much. Yeah right!
We are here for you. Keep us posted.

Bug

Oh, Bengal, I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and your family and sending very best wishes. Please keep us updated.

ChildOfGod4570

Bengal, I am so sorry this is happening to your mother and that you are going through such stress. I just prayed for you and your mother, and I'm with the others, please keep us updated. HUGS and God bless.

GregP_WN

We have several members of our family that are either nurses, PA's, one is a nurse anesthetist, he tested positive yesterday. His whole family is quarantined now. If those who are in the trenches doing the testing and treating are coming up positive despite their precautionary PPE, then the rest of us are more at risk than we think, if we are out running around through the general public.

Bengal

Yah, this is what terrifies me. If, in spite of all the precautions they are taking in house, the doctor, the one they are supposed to depend on to protect their health, is the one who bringsCovid19 into their midst, what was the use of all those precautions. Hopefully they caught this in time. Everyone at the facility will be tested this week. They are stepping up their protective procedures even more. All we can do it wait. Thanks, everyone for your kind words of support. It does help!