Oh No | Just Diagnosed

AngeleBdrx

My husband had a cold -- or so he thought. Went to urgent care. Co-worker called me & said he didn't look good. Face coloring very pale, walking funny, almost walked into a wall. Back to urgent care -- they referred us to ER. Vitals & blood drawn. ER nurse practitioner said they would take x-rays & a ultrasound of the abdomen. A while later, nurse said they decided to do CT of abdomen instead of ultrasound. THAT should have tipped me off something was wrong but I was just sitting in the ER with my husband confused & worried about this new onset of symptoms that didn't seem to add up to anything.
About an hour after the CT, the ER doc came in & said, "Ok, we've checked your bloodwork & CT. You have Lymphoma, we're going to admit you, you'll have a Heme/Onc consult in the morning and we'll do a biopsy of the mass we found in your abdomen."
He just dropped that bomb on us like, "Hey, it's Friday night & you've got cancer!"
When I heard "oma" my brain shorted out. My father was a doctor so I understand medical language/terminology and jargon like "Heme/Onc" and so on. My husband, on the other hand does not have this background & was in the dark until I translated for him.
We sat there dazed & the ER doc said he'd step out for a minute for us to talk. (WHAT!!!)
My husband, who was 3 weeks away from retirement just wanted to go home. I convinced him that the fastest way for us to get answers and a complete diagnosis was to stay in the hospital & see the oncologist the next morning (Saturday).
I excused myself from the ER exam room, telling my husband I needed to use the bathroom. Once I was out of his sight, I almost sprinted to the bathroom where I hyperventilated & cried at the same time. I thought I was going to throw up. I caught my breath, wiped my eyes & headed back to the exam room. Once I returned, my husband went to the men's room himself. At that, I took the opportunity to call my best friend who knew we were in the ER. I said, "It's me. Don't talk. Just listen. Joe (not his real name) just went to the bathroom & I have about 60 seconds to talk. The ER doc came in & told us that he has Lymphoma! I told her I needed to hear myself say it out loud so I could talk with Joe about it without getting hysterical. She (a retired nurse) calmed me down a bit & said she'd call our priest to begin the prayer request & some things to get for our stay in the hospital.
While we waited for the hospital room to be prepared, my husband sent me home to get things for his/our stay. When I got to the car, I immediately called one of my sisters. As soon as I heard her voice, I began sobbing & saying Joe, Joe, it's Joe! She quickly conferenced in my other siblings & they all consoled, comforted and counseled me what to bring to the hospital, what to do, what to ask the oncologist the next morning, etc.
By the time I arrived at the house, I was dry-eyed & level headed & given my marching orders per the sibs. I arrived back at the hospital at almost midnight with a late (midnight) dinner (grilled chicken wraps from home) and provisions for the next few days. We ate, talked & tried to sleep, wondering what tomorrow would bring when the oncologist arrived and the myriad of testing began heading toward a complete diagnosis and plan of attack against this new enemy from within.
My husband was quiet. He's a banker. A black/white person. Problem solver. No freaking out. Just get me some information & tell me how we're going to fix it. That's his way. Did he cry? Not in front of me. Saturday entailed lots of bloodwork and various scans from one end of his body to the other to pinpoint what type of Lymphoma he had his treatment and prognosis.

This was 6/11-12/2021

judithj

I just saw your post.
You have probably made many decisions by now but please investigate clinical trials and/or established procedures such as CAR-T. It is an immunotherapy procedure, well documented and very sucessfulagainst blood cancers such as Lymphoma. I know. Been there, now in remission after CAR-T. Best wishes.