Celebration | Received Mastectomy Bra

legaljen1969

This was a bittersweet celebration. I am glad to have a bra that makes my chest area look a little more balanced. I am glad I don't have to try to figure out ways to put a zillion things in my bra that get bunched up or fall out. It is a much nicer bra than I anticipated it would be. I thought it was going to be really clinical and awful looking. Not that anyone is going to be looking at my bra. I am certainly not planning to use it as enticing lingerie.
Yet it was another reminder that this annoying journey ever happened to me. It was another reminder that I will never be able to do enticing lingerie again. It was a reminder that until I am able to possibly get reconstruction, there will be no swimsuits. There will be no beach. There will be no sundresses and cool clothes for the summer. I know people now wear sundresses and tanks with bras that people can see, but that's a hard NO in my book.
I really thought myself relatively low maintenance and not vain at all, but I am discovering a lot of things I miss.
Over this past week I have learned a lot about people I thought were my friends and people I thought cared about me. I have learned that looks really ARE important and perfection really is the standard expected by the world.
Sounds like I am whining? Not so much. It has clarified things for me to move forward and rid myself of a lot of unnecessary "baggage" I didn't even realize I had been carrying.

MarcieB

Did you have a double or single mastectomy? I was originally told I would need a single mastectomy, but my chemo knocked the tumor down so small they did a lumpectomy instead - So now I am lopsided. I don't really mind so much, but I am considering elective surgery to even myself out - of course that won't be happening any time soon! No one has ever said anything to me about my appearance. My husband insists he doesn't even notice. I have a friend who had a double mastectomy 11 years ago and she is comfortable with being flat chested (I would be too!). In fact, she once told me she disliked having to dress formally for anything because then she had to "Whip out the fake boobs." (her words). I get it!

Bug

legaljen1969, I'm glad you like the bra.

Thanks for your write-up. You make several good points. To address just one... I remember looking at a magazine with one of my sisters a long time ago. We came upon a cosmetic ad with a gorgeous woman - tanned, flawless, fabulous hair and skin, etc. My sister said, "I want to look like her." I explained that she was not real - makeup artists, hair people, photoshop, etc. My sister seemed surprised. Sigh. I have finally stopped comparing myself to others. There will always be someone prettier and less pretty, wealthier and less wealthy, luckier and less lucky, etc. I'm very grateful for what I have.

And, BTW, re visible bra straps - I'm with you - it's a "no" in my book. That's why it's called *under*wear. I don't care if someone thinks I'm old fashioned or a prude. It's tacky.

Bug

legaljen1969, I'm glad you like the bra.

Thanks for your write-up. You make several good points. To address just one... I remember looking at a magazine with one of my sisters a long time ago. We came upon a cosmetic ad with a gorgeous woman - tanned, flawless, fabulous hair and skin, etc. My sister said, "I want to look like her." I explained that she was not real - makeup artists, hair people, photoshop, etc. My sister seemed surprised. Sigh. I have finally stopped comparing myself to others. There will always be someone prettier and less pretty, wealthier and less wealthy, luckier and less lucky, etc. I'm very grateful for what I have.

And, BTW, re visible bra straps - I'm with you - it's a "no" in my book. That's why it's called *under*wear.

JaneA

My situation is different cosmetically, but I can relate. I have a colostomy due to Stage IV rectal cancer. Almost all of us want to look our best, but I was devastated when I first got home with how can I hide this bag. Well, the swelling from the surgery went down, and I was able to transition to a small "pouch" instead of that "big bag" that they went me home with from the hospital. Turned out that my leggings and jeggings and tunic tops still work perfectly. Until the pandemic, I was going to aqua therapy and wearing a swimsuit with shirring. Just keep on progressing, and you'll find that sweet spot again.Part of this is in our mindset.

legaljen1969

@MarcieB- I had just one side. We thought it was going to be a lumpectomy with radiation for about 30 treatments. Then my surgeon got in there and couldn't get clear margins. It was going to take too much of my breast so we moved forward with mastectomy a few weeks later.
@Bug, I am never going to be a model. There isn't enough airbrush and photoshop in the world. Sometimes I look at myself and I think "You are so strong. You got through this skirmish and came out victorious." Other times, I think "WOW, you really got slaughtered."
The bra definitely has helped things look and feel a little more normal during work days and professional life. Compared to some, I am not that lopsided. I mean, there is a little imbalance, but it's not awful. My breasts have always been small enough that in the summer, I could use breast petals to minimize the "headlights" and wear tanks and spaghetti strap dresses. That's out for me now. There is just nothing I can find that allows me to wear tanks, sundresses, light tops without it being really noticeable. I just miss the change in the casual wear.
And yes, that is why it is called "under"wear. LOL
I'm off today to try to find some tanks or light shirts with decent coverage where I can be comfortable without sweltering in the summer heat.
Ah "the new normal." That's what everything is called these days, right? LOL