Decision Point | Prosthetic or Reconstruction

legaljen1969

The longer this "shelter in place" goes on, the more time I have to look in the mirror and see the part of me that is missing. Right after my mastectomy, family was asking when I wanted to go ahead and pursue reconstruction. My surgeon was preparing me for meeting with Alala to get a prosthetic. I really think my surgeon knows that in my heart, I just can't face any more surgery right now. I really want to do the type of reconstruction using my own tissue/fat. But I know that will be even more invasive. I am getting used to my "flat" chest on one side. I want to be able to go and get a prosthetic. It's something I could have done by now if not for this "shelter in place" situation. It is hard weighing everyone's expectations of my getting back my breast. Right now, I would be fine if the other one just went away so I would have a "matching" chest.
I am somewhat relieved to have longer to think about it, and whether I even want surgery. I know I have to get my weight on down and be physically ready for this. Ugh, so much back and forth right now.

Bug

legaljen1969, you said:

It is hard weighing everyone's expectations of my getting back my breast.

Please do what *you* want to do and don't be concerned with the expectations of others. I know that's easy for me to say as I'm not in your shoes but I sure hope you consider what I'm saying. Very best wishes to you.

Second

After being diagnosed with breast cancer for the 2nd time I decided to do a double mastectomy against my surgeon's wishes. I had to see a plastic surgeon who told me I could do reconstruction anytime I wanted even if it was 5 years or more. It's been 7 years and I am happy with my flat chest. Take your time and please do what makes you happy.

cak61

I agree with you saying you would be ok with the other one matching.
If I am faced with it again, I will have both removed and maybe get something pretty tattooed over the scar.
I have a friend who had a lumpectomy, got it again in the same breast. The insurance didn't want to pay to remove the other breast, so she paid out of pocket. Luckily she had the money.
She said no way am I leaving it to chance going through this a third time!
Do what you feel comfortable doing.

Bengal

There was a post here quite some time ago about soft, fabrics, very comfortable prosthetics. Does anyone remember the name of those? IF I were to end up with mastectomy that is definitely the way I would go if I used anything at all, probably only of I were dressing formally for something. After my surgery ( lumpectomy) I ended up with one side much smaller than the other. I don't care. And I certainly don't care what others think.

omaalyce

www.knittedknockers.org

Knitted Knockers are special handmade breast prosthesis for women who have undergone mastectomies or other procedures to the breast. Traditional breast prosthetics are usually expensive, heavy, sweaty and uncomfortable. They typically require special bras or camisoles with pockets and can’t be worn for weeks after surgery.

Bengal

That was the one, omaalyce. Thanks for bringing that forward again. Knitted Knockers sound like a wonderful alternative to some of the very uncomfortable stuff offered out there.

MLT

I was also going to suggest knitted knickers. I had a unilateral Mx and wished that I had had time to think about bilateral. I think I would have been fine with flat. Later had prophylactic Mx and DIEP flap. Very happy with results. And there were atypical cells, which is what I had with 1st round. This gives you time to decide what YOU want, not what others want for you. Hang in there.

Unicornmomma1

Please you do you. The people in ur life love u & want to help but they are not the ones that have to go through more surgery and live in ur body. I had to fight everyone, drs & family for my decision to have a masectomy rather than lumpectomy. I was told they were worried about my mental health. Sigh. I could not bare the thought of more suffering with more surgeries as it would have taken several and I was told it could play out to be 2+yrs. My cousin had masectomy at the same time as me & tried reconstruction. The expander failed. It was horrible for her, she suffered greatly. So be well aware of the risks. You will need to do your own research as surgeons will skim over the risks. Now we know that breast implant illness (BII) is real and destroys lives I am grateful for the decision I made. It took me a long while to except my new body. It was a transition for sure. Now that I am on the other side, I'm so glad I made the right decision for me. I go flat and I dont care what others think. I understand this is not the right decision for everyone and I get that. Most women I know like their new boobs but I also know some women that are disappointed and are planning to remove their implants. This is such a personal decision. I believe those around me were just trying to look out for me but it was hell fighting for my personal decision. My biggest battle was with my sister in law who is a dr. Since then she has gone to many continued education classes about breast cancer and reconstruction, and has aplogized to me for the pressure she gave me and agrees with me that I made the right decision for me. On Instagram there are many many women who rock the uniboob and have great ideas for clothing and tips and lots of support. There is a movement now on how to rock a uniboob/flat chest and be proud of it. I believe that this will be the way of the future. No more shame for fighting for our lives. You fought hard for your life, theres no shame in however you choose to rock your body. Stay strong and go with your gut. Your alive and have time, be kind to yourself.