Have you ever heard these two phrases "it takes a village to fight cancer"

GregP_WN

or "when one person in the family gets cancer, the whole family gets cancer"? That's usually the way it goes. I wrote an article describing my family's cancer experiences through my diagnosis. Even though they aren't the ones that are taking the treatments, our family and friends are feeling the effects of our cancer. Take a look at my article here>> https://bit.ly/2VmtqMy

legaljen1969

@GregP_WN, I read your article. It was very informative, and I thank you so much for being so "real" about your life. I then wandered over to the post about life as a laryngectomee. You write so eloquently. I want to share with you a very good memory of my childhood involving one of the best people in my entire life.
My grandfather, born in 1895, married later in life and he and my grandmother adopted my mother. He had a laryngectomy when my mother was young- in her single digit years. It had to have been some time in the mid to late 1950s. As you can imagine, technology was much different then. He had no alternatives BUT esophageal speech. All I ever heard was his scratchy whisper. My other grandfather had passed away when my father was in his teens. So this was the only grandfather I ever had. Because I had never heard his natural voice, that was just how I knew he talked.
When I was about 9 or 10 I went with a friend to her grandparents' home go to swimming and her grandfather started talking to us- in a regular voice. I was astounded. I asked him how he did that and why he didn't have a hole.
I don't know why I thought it, but I really thought all grandfathers had holes in their necks and spoke with a soft scratchy whisper voice. It completely blew my mind. He was the only grandfather I had and his esophageal speech was the only "voice" I had ever heard from him.
I asked my grandmother why my grandfather had such a different voice and she explained that he had a laryngectomy many years earlier. He had already passed away by the time I met my friend's grandfather. I can still hear his voice and I loved him more than I can ever express.
There is something magical about a grandfather who whispers all the time. It is safe. It is calm. It is quiet. It was never odd to me that he had that tracheostomy. I thought that was just a "grandpa" thing.
I understand about the deafening silence though. My grandmother always had radios on in every room in her house. If I would turn it down, it would make her so upset. He had always kept the radios on so there would be sound in the house for her. When she was not around, he would turn them off. I think being with him in the quiet was where I really learned to love a quiet room, to hear every little thing. I think it's why I was a quiet child and preferred reading and solitude to running around screaming and yelling. My brother and I were both pretty quiet.
You never know what the thing that drives you mad may soothe in another person.
I wish you maximum healing and continued success with whatever means you choose to communicate. Writing is beautiful and certainly gets the message across.

GregP_WN

Thank you @legaljen1969, as with all of us, our personal experiences with this cancer road are different and unique. Mine has bounced all over the place over 32 years. I appreciate your story about your Grandfather. As kids, we know no different than what we know. So I can picture you growing up with only knowing that voice. I'm sure it was a comforting one to you at the time.

legaljen1969

@GregP_WN, I know it is very frustrating and disconcerting to have difficulty communicating in the way which you were accustomed. I imagine many of the other difficulties, with things as "simple" as breathing or sneezing, seem crazy too.

It was not meant to tell you how to react or to diminish you in any way. I was merely saying I read your post and it called to mind my grandfather and how much I loved him. I guess my point was that have gotten to know you through this site in your present condition. I find your writing to be informative, compelling and inspiring. You don't have to have "voice" to touch a heart.

Best to you.