justoneman

Hi, justoneman. I'm catching up on some old WhatNext e-mails. How is your wife doing? Does she still have a lot of back pain? Thinking of you guys.

Hello. Just checking in with you. How are you?

Hello, Justoneman. This I ChildOfGod4570. I promised you I would contact my friend who suffered neuropathy while on chemo. He contacted me back and told me I could give you his email address. I'm not sure if this site will redact it, so I will try to write it out phonetically. His name is Ricky London, and he can be found at the following email address:
vickieandricky [at] ec [dot] rr [dot] com. He also recorded me a message about his own experiences; if you want that, please let me know, and I can give you a download link. I do hope things start to go better for your wife. HUGS and God bless.

Just checking in to let you know that you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers. May The Lord bless you today with peace, comfort and joy.

hi there, I'm a IIb, too, with same hormone profile as your wife. I'm 3 cycles into AC chemo, then onto Taxol for 12 cycles, so if you need any help or advice, I'd be happy to offer my experiences if it would help you and your wife.

Justoneman, please don't take your wife's hurtful remarks personally. She doesn't mean them. She's feeling angry, scared, and out of control. I did the same thing to my husband. Maybe you can try reverse psychology and tell her that you support her in whatever decision she decides to make. That's all she wants to hear. Hugs and prayers to you & your wife.

I had a lumpectomy in 2013 for pre cancer. My dr. Told me I had a 29% chance of recurrence and advised me to take Arimidex for 5 years. I declined thinking my 29% chance was pretty low. One year later I had invasive ductal carcinoma. I wish I had listened to my doctor and I wouldn't be going through another surgery, reconstruction and tamoxifen. They know more than we do. You have young children. I hope your wife takes her doctors advice. I wish I had.

Hello, Im not sure where you are in the chemo not do chemo question but I wanted to add that my chemo taxol is a synthetic form of the tree bark of the pacific yew tree. I only say this as in a sense then isnt chemo natural in a way in some cases? I have tolerated chemo well. In your post you mention adriamycin which from what I understand a more harsher chemo then taxol. Maybe ask if adriamycin is truly the only one that could be used as I am not familiar with why or which drug is used for which chemo but am aware adriamycin has more side effects on the heart. sorry to say that and again just an awareness I have am not a dr so best to inquire of your dr. Again, nice to see spouse so involved. Prayers for you and your family.

Just thinking of you and your wife and wondering how you are doing after the surgery. Prayers and thoughts are with you.

Hi. As a wife affected by cancer I also have a husband who has said doesn't know what to do or say. will have to see if he will join on site as sure u have much in common. Again as a wife I appreciate what he is going through and the support he gives. And it's not that I want to push him or anyone else away. I swear the cancer almost forces an imaginary I'm ok don't need help wall. But my advice is keep doing what your doing. However you deserve respect too. It sounds like She may need professional interventions. Sometimes I just want physical space after 3 surgeries chemo constant invasion of my personal space and thoughts of more invasion with internal pelvic radiation. What helps is having reminders like maybe a post it note "I love you" in places she is likely to find them. This way where ever her thoughts are when she finds them she's reminded you are there. Thoughts and prayers for you both. You are a strong and caring man by your post. Hang in there.

Justoneman, I saw that you and your wife are very nervous about the operation. I went through the exact same thing....it's the not knowing that is so frightening but I have to tell you now that Its been 3 months since my surgery (double mastectomy) I honestly sometimes think that the emotional roller coaster I went through when I was first diagnosed was harder than the surgery. I think of your family all the time and hope you get some peace. It is a very hard and scary journey but we are all here for you. I will be thinking of your family on November 13. Let us know how she does. Hugs and prayers!

How are you, your wife, and children doing? My husband said he would be happy to talk with you too.

I was diagnosed at stage 2b in September 2013. I Had a double mastectomy with reconstruction, 6 chemotherapy treatments and radiation. As scary as this time is for both of you, I can assure you there is a brighter side. It will take some Time to get there. Just focus on a good team of doctors and a treatment plan and leave the rest to God.

Best of luck to you...I'm no that far ahead of her, and I start my meds today !

Good luck..I'm not that far ahead of you & starting my meds today !

Hi - I'm sorry to meet you here, but you are a wonderful husband trying to get help for your wife, so I know you will give her the support she needs to get through this.

If you are still in the process of scheduling her surgery, I wonder if a video I made will help you understand the surgical options better. All hospitals don't offer every technique and not everyone is eligible for all the options, but it might be worthwhile for you. The link is http://youtu.be/dhRnZVPodxY.

Also, if you are interested, I would love to send you one of my booklets called "The Road Paved in Pink". It's a guide for newly diagnosed patients and their loved ones. The booklet is part of a Pay it Forward program, so you would pass it along to someone else in need when you are finished with it. If you'd like one, send me a comment through the website at: http://shirleyalarie.com/2014/09/pay-forward-program-taking-shape/

I wish you and your wife all the best. You should find the What Next community a great place to get some support that you need.

Justoneman: I can relate. I was diagnosed with Stage 2a breast cancer almost 2 years ago when my kids were 8 & 10. She is in the scariest part right now. Please try and reassure her and let her know to take one day at a time, and put one foot in front of the other. You may also want to see a therapist to help you get through the initial shock. Another idea would be an anti-anxiety/ anti-deppression medicine and possibly sleeping medicine.

Hello...you will find wonderful people, information and support here. We are all here for one another. While your wife is now the patient you have become the caregiver. No warning, no preparation, no manual. My husband was terrified as you are but always kept a positive attitude. He was my "rock".
Breast cancer is not a death sentence. Many women show "no evidence of disease" after completing treatment. Others go on to live with this as a chronic illness....but the key word is LIVE. We like to say "live your life, not your cancer"!
Please ask for help when you need it, and you will. Give family and friends an opportunity to be useful...maybe prepare a meal, do some shopping, do a load of laundry...these are mundane things that can make a huge difference!
If you have children, be sure their teachers know the situation. They can be your eyes and ears in the classroom. Parents of their friends can arrange play dates. When folks say "let me know if you need anything" they really mean it!! Take advantage of these offers with something concrete from your "to do" list.
You will figure it out. You will need help. I concentrated on you in this post but I have not forgotten your wife. I know how she feels. She needs you to be strong. She won't mind seeing you scared because it means you love her and do not want to lose her. It will help her fight harder. But she needs your strength and touch more now than ever before.
I am sending along best wishes and prayers to both of you.
You have a whole network of support here with us so visit often and keep us updated. Blessings! Grace

Hello and welcome, we are happy to have you with us. Please feel free to join in the conversations. Here is a link to our cancer dx page for your type of cancer. Take a look at it to get you started on some information. You will notice at the bottom of that page 4 of our active users who have had that journey already, you may wish to contact them for their experience and wisdom. Also, I encourage you to go to the questions page now by clicking on the questions tab at the top of the page and post what is the most pressing issue you have right now. This will introduce you to the community and get you started on the help you need right now.

https://www.whatnext.com/conditions/cancer/breast-cancer

There are also subtypes listed on this page to narrow down the type of cancer to match your dx.

Also, if you can take a few minutes and fill in some details of your journey so far, it will help others as they try to answer questions for you, it also helps others as they search through the data base to find someone like themselves. Confirming your email will allow you to receive updates and notices from the site when someone answers your questions or writes on your wall.

Thanks for being with us and let me know if I can help you find any information on the site. After you have an opportunity to look the site over and see what great things there are here, we encourage you to invite your friends, family or anyone you know that may be helped by the connections on WhatNext to join the site also. Just click this link to invite them to join. http://www.whatnext.com/recruit-a-friend

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GregP 3X Survivor

Welcome to the WhatNext family! The WhatNext family is made up of people like you who are looking for help or looking to help others. To help you along your journey the WhatNext family has put together a Beginner's Guide to Cancer that I highly recommend you check-out here: http://bit.ly/10BQKCi. Also, please do not hesitate to reach out to others or ask for help.

Wishing you the best.

David
Founder, WhatNexter