Gumpus61

Thank you for your blog. I was diagnosed at age 41 with Stage 3c breast cancer. I have been in remission now for 9 years. Unfortunately, my 25 year marriage did not survive. We had 6 children at home, I had to quit my job, and my husband was fully into a midlife crisis when I was diagnosed. My illness just exacerbated his own issues. I had 4 teens who became my caregivers. At the time I would try so hard to see things from his perspective, but I got to the point where I could only think about fighting to survive and keep my children as secure and stable as possible. I didn't even know what to pray for, and I am sure I survived through the prayers of others. I do believe in miracles, and I pray your wife experiences one. God bless you both.

Thank you for your post. I hope I can find a way to share it with my husband. I am dying from metastatic breast cancer. I'm only just a little over a year into this new life of knowing I will live with cancer for the rest of my life. I have a little longer life expectancy of 5-10 years, with around 6 being the norm. Right now its easy to be in denial. I feel well, working, "not today, not this month and probably not this year" allow you to maintain positivity and hope. My husband and children appear to be in complete denial, they brush me off when my husband will say something like, "I really liked that place, maybe when we retire we can move there or spend more time there, etc." To which I respond, "Yeah, maybe you can, I won't live long enough to retire." He then scolds me for thinking such thoughts as if saying it is what is going to make it happen. I'm sure even though we've been married 34 years, he'll never really share is thoughts and fears with me. It was good to hear your side of it as I can imagine my husband thinking and feeling similar things as we go further on the journey--even though he won't tell me. Don't ever feel guilty because you resent the things cancer has stolen from you or that you wish it to all be over. Grieving is normal when you loose things you love--even if they are just changed and not really gone yet.

I just read your blog. Thank you for your transparency. My husband is my caregiver and he has been awesome. I feel guilty that he has done so much, but his caregiving is what keeps me going. You are giving the supreme gift to your wife. I know she appreciates you more than she can ever express.

HI GUMPUS61,
I read your testimony my heart goes out to you and your wife Ann.
I love you for the road you have traveled with Ann on her journey.i admire you dearly for being a real man, a real husband in your marriage and your vows. You know the real meaning of loving your wife as Christ loved the church, and showed that you truly took your vows. As a fellow cancer survivor still on this journey I thank you for (All).I understand you, my s/o has been the same. he hates to see or hear me say I am in pain. He went through this with his deceased wife. He has no siblings and she had no siblings. I feel truly needed and loved because he knew the path my journey may take and decided to be there for me. he also is a lung cancer survivor.
may God bless you and your family! Survivor hugs and kisses..xoxoxoxoxo

I just read your blog. Thank you for writing it.
My husband of 36 yrs is my caregiver now. I am a survivor of cancer 34 yrs ago but the radiation that once cured me and put me in remission is now killing me slowly.
I am not saying that what I have going on is at all the same as your wife's horrible cancer, pain and treatment. As I readhat you wrote it gave me a glimpse into what he might be feeling but doesn't complain or say anything negative about.
He doesn't complain and tries to keep a smile on his face but I know it is hard on him. I am fearful that it will eventually get to the point he can't do it and I can't be alone at all and I will be in a nursing home.
I have what they call radiation fibrosis and dropped head syndrome, heart failing and a few more issues from the way radiation was given back in 1983 and is now causing major health issues.
As I read your blog I imagine my husband feels a lot of the same ways you described. Especially most recently as I fell forward then backward on the bottom basement step from my left leg weakness. I broke my right wrist and had a plate with 8 screws placed. Now I am even more dependent.
I feel so bad for him as he is a full time dairy farmer yet also has to pick up here at home the things I once was able to do and his responsibilities keep increasing as I just physically just cannot do what I once did.
You sound like a wonderful husband and caregiver for your wife. When you took those vows all of those years ago you meant them and that shows how much you love your wife. She is blessed.

Hi, Gumpus61. I read your blog post. Wow. So heartfelt and honest. Very sobering. Obviously I can't understand exactly how you feel as I'm not in your shoes but you really described well the way you feel and what you and Ann are going through. I'm sending prayers and best wishes to you and your beautiful wife.

Hello was wondering if you would share what was used for treatment. I had uterine cancer first and they say I have peritoneal carcinomatosis now. My ct is not improving. Hope all going well for you.

As a former Michigander, now living in
Florida, I feel your pain in supporting the
Detroit Lions! I hope I will get to see them in the Superbowl, but I may not live long enough. I admire your job as a caregiver and the fact that the two of you are fighting this disease as a pair. Good luck to you both.

Hello gumpus61, I am also from your area. I hope your wife is being treated at a good hospital in the area, and there are many. I am treated at UofM.

Gumpas61, just had to add a positive. I belong to a site called Sisterhood of Ovarian Cancer and on this site there are numerous ladies who have had one , two, even three recurrances and are here to tell the tale eight, eleven and more years later. These are ladies with Stage II, III and IV. I know hearing these ladies talk of their experiences has really helped my outlook. You talk or ask a questions and thirty + responses. Being on a site specific to your Cancer floods you with the most up to date medical advances and experiences.Do not know if there is a site specific to Peritonial Cancer but worth looking for, if not perhaps you and your lady could see if you can join the sisterhood. Take care, please keep us updated.

So sorry to hear this! Prayers for peace and swiftness for answers.

Hello, Congratulations to your wife and you! Wow to you as well as being such an active participant in this trial. May I ask where your wife received treatment? I live in the area as well if you don't mind sharing. thanks. if not that is ok too.

Hello and welcome! I just wanted to say hi and let you know how much information and support you can find here on WhatNext. We're all in the same boat, more or less, and happy to share experiences and well-wishes.

I'm about six months into this journey and I feel so much better and healthier than I did when it started. Let me know if you have questions or just want to chat or even vent.

Hugs,
Diann

Gumpus61,glad you found this site.We have a caregiver husband who I know could use the benefit of your experience. He is familyman06. It is so great to have caregivers on the site. Hope you and your wife continue to share experiences and help answer others questions. Glad your wife's chemo almost over, you are very lucky to have each other. All the best in your future.Take care,talk anytime.

Hello and welcome, we are glad you found us. Please feel free to join in the conversations. Here is a link to our cancer dx page for your type of cancer. Take a look at it to get you started on some information. You will notice at the bottom of that page 4 of our active users who have had that journey already, you may wish to contact them for their experience and wisdom. Also, I encourage you to go to the questions page now by clicking on the questions tab at the top of the page and post what is the most pressing issue you have right now. This will introduce you to the community and get you started on the help you need right now.

https://www.whatnext.com/conditions/cancer/ovarian-and-fallopian-tube-cancer

There are also subtypes listed on this page to narrow down the type of cancer to match your dx.

Also, if you can take a few minutes and fill in some details of your journey so far, it will help others as they try to answer questions for you, it also helps others as they search through the data base to find someone like themselves. Confirming your email will allow you to receive updates and notices from the site when someone answers your questions or writes on your wall.

Thanks for being with us and let me know if I can help you find any information on the site. After you have an opportunity to look the site over and see what great things there are here, we encourage you to invite your friends, family or anyone you know that may be helped by the connections on WhatNext to join the site also. Just click this link to invite them to join. http://www.whatnext.com/recruit-a-friend

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GregP 3X Survivor
Team WhatNext Community Mgr

Welcome to the WhatNext family! The WhatNext family is made up of people like you who are looking for help or looking to help others. To help you along your journey the WhatNext family has put together a Beginner's Guide to Cancer that I highly recommend you check-out here: http://bit.ly/10BQKCi. Also, please do not hesitate to reach out to others or ask for help.

Wishing you the best.

David
Founder, WhatNexter