4HeartsBroken

This new user is a wife taking care of a husband with lung cancer, could you drop in and offer any words of encouragement? https://www.whatnext.com/users/lexi480
Thanks for your help on the site, we appreciate you!

Hi 4Hearts,

We have a fellow whatnexter that could use a pick me up. Stage four pancreatic. Could you stop by their page and say hi, and see if you could talk them through anything?
http://www.whatnext.com/users/gizzy04

Thanks so much.

Wishing peace, and happy memories to you and your family.

Hello, what a great question, very proactive. I am going to assume by your post that your concern is pancreatic cancer and so the answer to your question is yes and no. No in that tumor markers are measured in the blood but should never be used as a screening tool because they tend to give off false positives. Yes in that genetic markers are found in the blood and for pancreatic cancer the BRCA test is a good indicator that will tell you if you are carrying the mutation. BRCA testing not only detects breast and ovarian cancer but also pancreatic as well. Myriad the lab that does the BRCA testing also does a test called Polaris which detects the genes responsible for pancreatic cancer. Check your area for a genetic counselor, they are everywhere. Make an appointment for a consult. Genetic testing is considered preventative therapy by some insurance companies. I hope I have answered your question. Best of luck to you, Carm.

4heartsbroken, there is nothing wrong with wallowing in grief if it gives you comfort but recognize that your grief is for your pain and not your grandmother. Death is not a punishment, it is the reward. A rebirth that allows you to leave a world of pain to return home. When we lose those we love in this world, sometimes we think that the relationship is severed. We say things like "I miss her" or "I can't believe she is gone" but you have to ask yourself, would she really leave you?" Nobody is going to return to you if you act like they no longer exist. Talk to her like you did every day about life, your work, your family. NancyJac is right, it is fresh now but eventually you will come to feel her around you as long as you stay open to her. You love her soul not her body and the soul never dies. I work as an end of life nurse also and have been present to over 400 deaths. I may live alone but believe me, I'm never alone. Be mindful of your children and let your grandmother live on in you. Become her legacy. If Xmas was her favorite time of year then celebrate it knowing that she is there with you. Teach your children that this is the season of joy and your grandmother is that joy. It is alright to grieve, but if you allow yourself to live in grief then that grief can become self pity after awhile. Because you can't see or hear her does not mean she is gone. You have 5 senses, not 2. Life is not defined by geography. Death is just biology. Open your heart and you will find that she will find her way back into it with ease. A true bond lasts forever, believe in that, believe in her. Best of luck, Carm.

Mmm pancakes. Well at least she can say she has now experienced everything on her to do list. Molasses enema. Check! I didn't know they did that. I think I'll pass.

Nice picture. Is that grandma?

Hi Heather. I saw your post on my wall. How can I help you hun? For starters, let me say that I am sorry about your family's news. I will say many prayers for you all. Your grandma was diagnosed on what would have been my mama's 62nd birthday. She passed away two days earlier. I am not going to sugarcoat this, it is not an easy road. But it will change your life in good ways and bad ways. Freebird is right about Hospice. That was one of the best decisions we could have made for caring for her. They did an amazing job! Feel free to ask any questions or if you just want to vent or whatever, I'm here.

I hope you're finding all the answers you need, Heather. I know it's not easy not knowing exactly what to expect. The best way is to take one day at a time, take the problems as they come, make the most of today, and reach out for help from Hospice if you notice any changes.

My dad's cancer has stayed put in the liver for months. But it's growing. So he has symptoms related to problems with the liver. For your grandma, she is probably having symptoms related to her colon and her pancreas if there's a primary tumor there. That's more than enough to deal with, huh? Any additional problems with the cancer spreading, I don't know that you'll every have to worry about. Everyone's different, depending on where the cancer goes. The main thing is for Hospice to keep grandma as comfortable as possible. They know how to do it.

Hello, I had to take care of my Mom and Dad in hospice care when they died from cancer. Lost dad first, then two months later mom was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, lost her 10 months later. Yes what your going through is hard. And having some family members that don't know how to handle it makes it worse.

The only thing I can tell you is that one day, you will be glad that you were able to be there for her when she really needed you. That is one little thing that you can take away.

Thank you for being a care giver. As a 3x Cancer Survivor, I know how important it is to have good caregivers.

Let us know if we can help with anything here.

Greg P
3x Survivor
Team WhatNext
Community Mgr.

Hello, I had to take care of my Mom and Dad in hospice care when they died from cancer. Lost dad first, then two months later mom was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, lost her 10 months later. Yes what your going through is hard. And having some family members that don't know how to handle it makes it worse.

The only thing I can tell you is that one day, you will be glad that you were able to be there for her when she really needed you. That is one little thing that you can take away.

Thank you for being a care giver. As a 3x Cancer Survivor, I know how important it is to have good caregivers.

Let us know if we can help with anything here.

Greg P
3x Survivor
Team WhatNext
Community Mgr.

Also, not sure if you're on facebook, but we have a page on there called "Patti's PanCan Posting" you are more than welcome to check that out. If you ask for an invite, I will add you to it and you can see her journey that way also.

I hope you're finding all the answers you need, Heather. I know it's not easy not knowing exactly what to expect. The best way is to take one day at a time, take the problems as they come, make the most of today, and reach out for help from Hospice if you notice any changes.

My dad's cancer has stayed put in the liver for months. But it's growing. So he has symptoms related to problems with the liver. For your grandma, she is probably having symptoms related to her colon and her pancreas if there's a primary tumor there. That's more than enough to deal with, huh? Any additional problems with the cancer spreading, I don't know that you'll every have to worry about. Everyone's different, depending on where the cancer goes. The main thing is for Hospice to keep grandma as comfortable as possible. They know how to do it.

I am so sorry for what you and your family are experiencing. As a grandmother myself, I know that their is nothing more important to her than you, and despite this horrible diagnosis, she is blessed to haven you in her life,

Another resource that you or your family may find helpful is Immerman Angels. They connect cancer patients and/or caregivers with other patients and/or caregivers. They match for cancer type, stage, age, etc. Sometimes it helps to have someone in similar circumstances to talk to.

You are doing everything right by having Hospice there. Anything that can be done to make her comfortable can be done by them. You have what they can't offer for grandma... all your love. That's a beautiful thing even in the worst of times. All suffering is temporary. Your grandma and you are awesome, and bigger than anything that can happen to your bodies.

If you have questions about what to expect, hit that Questions section at the top of the page, and ask your questions there. More people will see it and maybe be able to share their personal experiences. People with experience in end-of-life care, colon cancer or other cancers that have spread there might even offer their experience. I know there are some nurses that read the questions also. And reach out to Hospice if you have questions too.

Here is a resource for questions about pancreatic cancer. They also have information about Hospice and pain if you ask -- The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network http://pancan.org/section_facing_pancreatic_cancer/oneonone_support/ They have an information package they can send too.

You are doing everything right by having Hospice there. Anything that can be done to make her comfortable can be done by them. You have what they can't offer for grandma... all your love. That's a beautiful thing even in the worst of times. All suffering is temporary. Your grandma and you are awesome, and bigger than anything that can happen to your bodies.

If you have questions about what to expect, hit that Questions section at the top of the page, and ask your questions there. More people will see it and maybe be able to share their personal experiences. People with experience in end-of-life care, colon cancer or other cancers that have spread there might even offer their experience. I know there are some nurses that read the questions also. And reach out to Hospice if you have questions too.

Here is a resource for questions about pancreatic cancer. They also have information about Hospice and pain if you ask -- The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network http://pancan.org/section_facing_pancreatic_cancer/oneonone_support/ They have an information package they can send too.

My heart goes out to you and your family for what's happening with grandma. If you have any questions, I've read quite a bit about pancreatic cancer during my time helping with my dad. Maybe I can point you to some information.

Hello. Welcome to Whatnext. We have something in common. Best wishes to you and your loved one.

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