beth2012

Just checking it to say hello and let you know I am thinking of you and praying for all of you. God bless!

Im not sure of what you ask but as an oncology/end of life nurse I can tell you that when his will to live becomes a will to leave, then it is time to call in hospice. Best of luck to you, Carm RN.

Dear Beth,

When you call in for your husband, try to phone in that your husband may be aggressive due to a stroke. That way the Paramedics who will be coming may be able to be prepared in advance with medication to sedate him (I'm completely uncertain of this so don't bank on it). I don't know anything about prison hospitals, just that if a patient is ill enough that they take a patient to a regular one. If you explain that your husband has Cancer and has likely had a stroke, the police aren't going to be likely to arrest him, just help the Paramedics get him to the hospital.

For your own well being, I'm going to recommend that you call CancerCare for support. They have wonderful Social Workers whose specialty is Cancer or Cancer patients' caregivers and you definitely need more support than I can provide when I log in occasionally. I'm happy to help when I can but my job (as a Librarian) is to offer referrals for the right folks or agencies for people to see. As a patient myself, I really sympathize, because I know what it's like, and I know how difficult it must be for you, being so young (my friends' mother was widowed at 32 with 3 kids), but I think you'll feel much better after speaking to them at CancerCare. Give them a try and let me know how that goes...

Warm wishes,
Aliza

Dear beth,

I think perhaps two good things for you to do are: to speak to a neurologist for a consult and a psychiatrist for a consult. This does not mean you are giving up, it means you are getting information. If the situation were reversed and you'd suffered brain damage, depending on the severity, would you want your family to put you through chemotherapy? Brain damage does not reverse itself sadly (you can check this out with the neurologist).

Life is not easy, nor is it fair, but the one thing we can try to do is to make sure our loved ones suffer less, so for now just shoot for the consults. One thing at a time. Also talk to your father in law.

Best,
Aliza

Dear beth,

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I'm glad my suggestion to get in touch with CancerCare is helping you. Their Social Workers are great-even if it's just for you! There are other resources that are available as well if you click on the purple box on the right side of the page (at the bottom).

It's really important for you to take care of yourself as a caregiver so you don't burn out! Try to do something fun once in a while-go out with friends-lunch, shopping, etc. There's even an online book group called goodreadsdotcom. You can track books you've read, join mall genre bookgroups, make virtual friends, write book reviews and read others reviews. If you have a bookgrooup near you, more's the better (but hey, I'm a Librarian, so what else would you expect from me?...;))

Take good care and keep me posted. Let me know if there's anything else I can do.

Warmest wishes,
Aliza

Welcome to WhatNext. I'm a lung cancer survivor, diagnosed September 2011.

I've been through the lobectomy, chemotherapy and radiation, and am at the 1 year mark from having been diagnosed.

I have found WhatNext to be a great supportive group here. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. You can message me directly, or post to my wall - I always try to respond.

Oh Beth, I am so sorry to hear that. Stage iv is bad enough but I can't imagine what he is going thru with the blood clots. What are they doing to help him? How are you doing? I'm sure it is very hard on you. I will definitely keep both you and your husband in my prayers. Let me know if you ever need someone to talk to since I am also stage iv lung cancer.
Buttercup