Coping With Cancer Diagnosis
I had a biopsy from the base of my tongue that was thought to be lymphoma or squamous carcinoma. While waiting for the results of the biopsy my ENT specialist who did the biopsy described the processes of dealing with each cancer. He was so graphically detailed in his descriptions that it left me in an almost complete brain fog for the rest of the afternoon.
The double blind study of my biopsied tissue reported I had DLBCL that is a popular diffuse large B cell fast growing Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
Fortunately my oncologist calmed my fears when he told me that I would be inconvenienced by the treatment and if the cancer came back it would be easily treatable and it did come back. I have had four occurrences but he was right for fourteen years and I am now three year in remission from my last occurrence.
What I have learned that works for me on how to get through cancer is being proactive. After the initial shock I began looking at having cancer like a job. I did not know cancer but I know jobs as I was forty-six years in the aerospace industry when my cancer was first diagnosed. The difference in dealing with cancer is you do not get to train for it beforehand like you do in a normal job. With cancer you have to learn how to deal with it on the run as there is no prep-school for cancer.
There is a lot more to learn than I can mention here but I have a few pointers to share that may make life easier for you. Good luck on your journey.
Patience - Patience has these synonyms; perseverance, fortitude, endurance, tolerance and persistence. Cancer will test you on all facets of all of the synonyms.
What I have experienced is the more patience you give to your journey the easier it is to endure. At the onset you have all those wait times (please avoid calling them “delays”) for all the testing and then waiting for each results. Then you get into treatment, then side effects, then scans and then the scan results. To me these actions all take place in what I call slow motion. It took me some time to learn to be proactive on scheduling but to accept what my best efforts provided then kickback and live my life to the fullest while I am in those wait times. This allows two things to happen, you will be happier and that helps those around you be happier. I think patience is a placebo that works.
Advocacy – Advocacy is something you may want to do for yourself. If you want to go it alone fine, but if you do not then you better get someone to be your advocate. If you find your cancer journey is leaving you bewildered then seek out someone to be with you in the doctor’s office, for surgery, in the infusion room, for scans or lab work. Have the advocate take notes, because you may be too stressed to remember what the doctor said, and the notes will be very helpful.
There are many things that need doing to prepare for treatment. You the patient may accept or challenge the proposed treatment. You may need help in making those decisions.
Once into treatment things soon become routine. Still, it helps if you and your advocate both hear the instructions for tasks to be done by the patient. An advocate may help in creating a list of questions that may arise to ask the doctor during the ongoing appointments.
Mindfulness – Mindfulness, according to Goldie Hawn in her book “10 Mindful Minutes”, says mindfulness is “the conscious awareness of our current thoughts – and accepting this awareness with openness and curiosity in a non-judgmental way. It means focusing on non-doing, a crucial skill in these distracted times.”₁
Something meaningful to me is her referring to “Take daily ‘brain breaks’ and focus on breathing.”₁ When my anxiety level goes up is when focusing on breathing really helps. Sometimes just three long gentle abdominal breaths will give me relief but, there is no limit on how many you do.
My analogy for mindfulness is like rebooting a personal computer. In time you find your computer slows down or acts strangely. Giving it a timeout helps. This is done by shutting it down and unplugging the computer for a little while and then rebooting it by turning it back on. The rebooting allows the computer to startup fresh and less encumbered. Mindfulness is like giving your mind a timeout and a reboot.
Here is an opportunity to get a CD from Massachusetts General Hospital’s General Store that has two twenty-minute tapes on focused breathing. This CD is based on trials run by DR Herbert Benson (he is on You Tube) dealing with gene expression.
Use this link to review or to order the CD, Bring Relaxation to Your Life, Olivia Hoblitzelle, Available in English, Spanish/Mandarin, or Cantonese.
http://www.mghgeneralstore.com/67483.html Bring Relaxation to Your Life
English CD 67483 $15.00
Language: English 67483, Spanish/Cantonese 8402, Mandarin 8404
First segment introduces you to the relaxation response, including some key techniques such as breath awareness, body scan relaxation and the use of a focus word. Specific instructions throughout the tape help you to develop a relaxation response practice. The second segment teaches awareness, or "mindfulness" of sensations, thoughts, and sounds. It also introduces breath and awareness as "primary tools" that enable you to integrate the relaxation response into daily activities. This relaxation has fewer instructions, allowing you to further develop your relaxation response practice.
Using this CD will help your understanding of “focusing on non-doing” mentioned above.
₁ The Arizona Republic, 6.3.2013, Harvey Mackey’s column
Hello and welcome, we are happy to have you with us. Please feel free to join in the conversations. Here is a link to our cancer dx page for your type of cancer. Take a look at it to get you started on some information. You will notice at the bottom of that page 4 of our active users who have had that journey already, you may wish to contact them for their experience and wisdom. Also, I encourage you to go to the questions page now by clicking on the questions tab at the top of the page and post what is the most pressing issue you have right now. This will introduce you to the community and get you started on the help you need right now.
Coping With Cancer Diagnosis
